Charlie sat on the bed and looked pleadingly at me, but I couldn’t make this go away. We’d discussed it earlier and decided partial truth was the only thing that would work. He’d say he’d grown worried about his need for high-risk activities.
“He’s going to kill me,” he said.
“At least this way, he won’t do soliterally.”
He snorted an unamused laugh. “You’re a real ray of sunshine, aren’t you? Right, then. Here goes nothing.”
Charlie had been right. James Fortescue was incandescentthat Charlie hadn’t shown up to work this morning or called in to explain his absence and was now merrily announcing he’d be gone for an unknowable length of time. As Charlie had FaceTimed him without earbuds, I heard every excoriating word. But when Charlie finally managed to get out his reason, James paused.
“I know I shouldn’t have done it like this, but strike while the iron’s hot, you know?” Charlie said, with a ghostly vestige of his usual assuredness and charm. “If I’d waited long enough to put cover in place for my clients, I might have convinced myself I didn’t have a—well, it’s not a problem. I just want to ensure it doesn’t become one.”
“That’s surprisingly mature of you,” James said at last. “I take it you didn’t reach this conclusion on your own.”
How could he know that?
Charlie glanced over his shoulder at where I’d been carefully keeping out of sight. “Nate’s here.”
“I see. Well, tell Nate I’d like to see him as soon as he’s back in Bath. I expect that to be tomorrow. Keep me in the loop as to when you’re coming home.”
I didn’t know if Charlie heard the slight softening in his voice on those last words.
“And for God’s sake, call your mother now and tell her. I’d like her to get it out of her system before I have to go home tonight.” He ended the call.
“I’m going to find us some food,” I said, and fled. No way was I going to sit through Mrs Fortescue learning about this.
*
I’d grown used to Alex’s voracious appetite, so I had probably over-catered. Even so, Charlie only picked at his share of the sandwiches I brought back.
“We should make a move,” I said eventually, getting to my feet.
“I can’t do this,” Charlie said, panic in his voice. “I can’t, Nate. Don’t make me.”
“You can,” I told him firmly. “I’m not making you do this, but you know the risks if you don’t. It’s not only about your health or career or a criminal record.”
“But what if…” He trailed off. When he finally spoke again, his voice was very small. “What if, without the things that make me feel better, I’m not enough?”
Charlie had never confessed doubts to me. He must be terrified.
“You are,” I said fiercely, and gripped his shoulder.
He turned to me, burying his face against my collarbone and clinging to me.
I hugged him for a moment. “Putting it off isn’t going to make it any easier,” I told him as I released him, realising I sounded just like Uncle Thaddeus.
I’d been wondering how to tell him about his brother’s motives without giving away that I’d been delving into his family’s private affairs. I still hadn’t found a good answer, but I knew I had to warn him. So, as our taxi drew up outside the clinic, I asked him, “Why did Steven get you what you thought you needed?”
His eyes flashed to mine, and I saw my words hit home. He said nothing, but the seed was sown, and Charlie wasn’t stupid.
Perhaps Charlie had been struggling with somethingheneeded to say, because once the driver got out to extract his luggage from the boot, he turned to me.
“Go and find your Cornish dragon, and tell him, if he hurts you—” He scoffed. “I don’t have the right to say that, do I? Not after how I treated you. But I hope he sees your worth, Nate. You’re more than gold. It’s just—it’s not what I needed, and that’s not your fault. It’s not mine either, though how I handled it, thatwas.”
He climbed out of the car while I was still too shell-shocked to react. Those hoarse words had tugged at something deep inside me. I was breathing unevenly as the tightly clenched knot that had been part of me for so long began to loosen.
I brought my breathing back under control, but my eyes were damp as I watched Charlie walk through the clinic door. He was scared that he wasn’t enough. I knew how it was to feel that way, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.Goodbye, Charlie.
I was suddenly exhausted. Getting through security at the airport, the flight back, and then driving to Bath or even to my flat was too much. I might as well make use of the hotel room. I told the cab driver to take me back there and texted Alex.Staying here overnight. Back tomorrow. Really want to see you.It took everything I had not to addLove youat the end.
