“Oh, God, Charlie.” I sat beside him. “Wouldn’t it have been easier to have taken up bungee jumping?”
“I just want to feel something again. I want to feelgoodagain.” His voice was raw.
He leaned against me while I thought. This was way out of my league. The only thing I knew for sure was that his father must never find out.
“Will you go to rehab?” I asked at last.
He was silent for a long time. “If it means I’m not locked up for the rest of my life, then I suppose so.”
From the little I knew, if someone didn’twantto go to rehab, it was unlikely to be successful. But what choice did we have?
“I’ll call places in the morning,” I told him. “In the meantime, stay here.”
“Why, Nate, if you wanted me in your bed, all you had to do was say so.” It was a faint, shaky attempt, and I wasn’t sure if it was a good sign or not. Then he licked his lips again. “Have I fucked things up for you with that Cornish dragon?”
He knew?
“Yeah, I know. Pretty hard to miss when I know you so well.” He lay down, pulling the duvet over his shoulders.
“Is doing coke the same for a dragon as for a human?” My priorities were wrong, but I was curious. Dragon physiology appears identical to human, but we heal much faster than they do, and we can breathe smoke even in human form. No dragon scientist or doctor had ever produced an explanation for that, so far as I was aware.
“I just burn through it quicker,” Charlie said. “Which sucks, by the way.”
“Do you have any stuff in the house?” I asked. “Is there anything we need to get rid of before someone finds it.”
“Nah.” He yawned. “Stevie only gives me as much as I need in one night.”
“Yourbrother’sbeen getting it for you?”
He didn’t answer. I guess he didn’t need to.
*
That night went on forever. Charlie didn’t sleep for hours and made so many trips to the bathroom at the end of the landing that we probably kept everyone on our floor awake. I went with him every time. I didn’t trust he’d come back to my room if I didn’t.
He grew clingy. He wanted physical contact, though there was no sexual intent in it.
Once he’d fallen asleep, I didn’t dare do the same in case he woke up and left. I sat on the floor, my back to the door, and searched for rehab centres. I almost laughed in incredulous relief when I found three clinics run by dragons. Of course, they didn’t advertise themselves that way, but there are internationally recognised code words.
Drug rehab for dragons went against everything I knew, but I’d learned from Alex that some of the things I’d thought to be universal among dragons weren’t. Perhaps not all dragons were as zero-tolerance about drugs as the circles Charlie and I moved in. Perhaps, though it seemed improbable, some were compassionate. Not something I’d accuse either my family or the Fortescues of being.
One clinic was in Monte Carlo, one in L.A., and the other outside Munich. All were hellishly expensive, though that wouldn’t impede Charlie.
Once I had their numbers, ready to call in the morning, I thought about Steven. It wasn’t enough that he was about to take over from Charlie. He wanted to eliminate the competition altogether. He had to be the most cold-blooded bastard I’d ever met. And remembering who my grandfather was, that was saying a lot.
Struggling to keep my eyes open in the dawn light, I spent a long time composing a text to Alex, overthinking every word. I told him I might have to go away and that I’d explain as much as I could when I returned. I didn’t know what else to say, but I knew something more was needed. He’d trusted me, even after what he thought he’d walked in on. But I mustn’t be clingy.
You’re really special to me,I sent finally, and spent the rest of the night worrying that I’d said too much.
ALEX
You’re really special to me.What the hell did that mean? It was the sort of phrase usually followed by a ‘but’. You’re really special to me, but I’ve got a boyfriend at home. But I’m only here on holiday. But we’re from different worlds.
Yet it was the first time he’d said anything like that to me. I kept swinging between putting the worst possible interpretation on it and hoping it was his way of saying that he felt as strongly as I did.
I was still obsessing over the text’s possible meanings when a new one came in.Leaving Bath today. Hopefully back tomorrow.
Thankfully, Margaret found me before I spiralled into a complete meltdown over the lack of information. “I’ve been neglecting your education,” she informed me. “Come for a walk.”
