My eyes sting as tears form at his words. Throughout everything, I’ve felt so alone. Too worried that my family will be concerned, too scared that everyone will treat me differently. When I told Cindy, and her reaction was a monotone apology and immediate brainstorming, I felt grateful. But now, as Kit pulls me into him and offers support, I realize that all I really needed was a hug.
It’s like a rubber band snaps out of place. I fall apart as I let quiet sobs break free for the first time in a long time. With somewhere safe to land, it’s finally okay. The fight in me dissipates, leaving only the grounding presence beside me, willing to take this on with me no matter what. And even though there’s still a tiny bit of fear, there’s also some much-needed relief.
When my tears fade, and I can finally breathe once more, I gather the courage to finally confess everything I’ve been keeping in. “I got diagnosed last year. I started having hot flashes and extreme fatigue. I was dealing with them, but when the migraines started, I knew I had to figure out what was going on. I spent more time in my bed than anywhere else. It was absolute agony.”
Kit nods along to my words. “And… your diagnosis. It’s the reason why you started going on blind dates, isn’t it?”
I frown. “I forgot I told you that. But yes, it’s the reason why I started going on dates. It’s also the reason why I’m on blockers.” I wince because it’s a partial truth. “That awful date when that alpha was saying all sorts of vulgar things about my scent… it was because my scent was heightened from my condition. It wasfullerthan other omegas that night. He commented that I smelled like I could go into heat any moment, and it frightened the shit out of me.”
The omega beside me lets out a low growl. “That’s revolting.”
“I know.” I try to force the memories out of my head. “So, I gave up and went on blockers. But yes, I was trying to find a pack. I wanted to be prepared.”
What a joke that was now, after what I experienced. I turn to Kit and rip the Band-Aid off. “My efforts were in vain, anyway. I had my first heat last Spring.”
His scent sours, dousing the air with sadness. “Opal?—”
“It’s fine,” I assure him, although I know it’s anything but. “It happened. I wasn’t prepared, and neither was the system. We’re all just flailing around, trying to figure out where omegas like me fit in.”
Kit angles his body further to look at me. “I know where you belong.”
A tiny laugh escapes me. “Where?”
“Here,” he says. “With us.”
The amusement dies as I stare at him. He’s serious, and I want nothing more than to agree. To confess my other secret and admit how much I want to be with each of them, but I hold back. There’s too much vulnerability going on, and I can’t bear to let more seep through the cracks.
“I really believe you’re meant to be here,” he repeats. “That you’re meant to be with us, Opal.”
I don’t mean to, but I gulp. The sound is loud between us as I shake my head in denial. “I don’t know?—”
“Opal, did you really think you could be this close to all of us and not make our instincts go haywire?” he asks sincerely, his head tilting to the side.
I give a pitiful, weak scoff. “I don’t think Sam has any instincts when it comes to me.”
Kit sighs. “Sam has this idea of how our pack should be. He thinks if anything strays from that, then he’s failed as a prime. But I know how he feels about you.”
I don’t let myself feel any hope from that statement. “It’s still just wishful thinking, Kit,” I tell him.
“And I’m never going to let you suffer through that again,” he continues as he cradles my face in his hands once more. “Last night wasn’t just me helping out my friend. It was every bit as instinctual as it would have been with Sam or Thatcher. Please believe me. I amherefor you, I amgoingto take care of you, in every single way you need.”
My omega loves the sound of that, but my logical brain can’t fully accept it. “Kit… you don’t have a knot.”
He nods. “I know, but we will figure it out. Everything you need is right here, if you can accept it.”
I take those words in and hope blooms in a forbidden part of my chest. There’s nothing I want more than to be with him, but there’s also a fear lodged deep into my psyche, one that I cannot fully relinquish.
I lean into his touch, reveling in the closeness obtained these past few days.
“You’re my favorite person I have ever met,” I tell him.
He smiles, his scent falling back to a sweet baseline. “You’re my favorite person, too.”
Confiding in Kit feels like growth. I’m not sure what kind, yet, but it’s a step in the right direction, down a path I didn’t even know I was allowed to go down. It feels freeing. Not having to hold in my faults, having someone there to watch my back, iseverythingto me.
And as we curl back up in the comforter that smells of us, I realize I’ll never settle for less again.
THIRTY-FIVE
