The descent back into the present is slow. I feel a hand upon my shoulder, shaking me gently. The grogginess keeps me in its grasp as I blink my eyes, the blurry vision becoming clear as I hear the person in front of me.
“Hey, pretty girl.” Kit is smiling widely at me as his curly dark hair comes into focus. His expression is soft, and I sit up confused, wondering how he got into my room, but then I see the off-white furniture around me and feel the familiar comfort of a green blanket on top of me. The TV is still playingBob’s Burgers, and my crochet hook nearly falls off my lap as I sit up further, finally shaking off the sleepiness. I move tograb it, along with the project I was working on before succumbing to rest.
“Fuck, I must have fallen asleep,” I said, like some kind of excuse. My condition makes me more fatigued than others, but I’m also a Taurus, so I can normally get away with it.
“It’s okay, Opal. You can sleep anywhere and anytime you want,” he tells me with that same kind expression on his face. He looks down at the thing in my hand and grins. “What’s that?”
A slight blush rises on my cheeks at the half-finished beanie in my hands. I’ve been making the guys presents to thank them for letting me stay here. I thought I’d have time to put it away before Kit got home, but my abrupt nap derailed that plan. “It’s not done yet,” I nearly squawk at him, trying to put it behind my back. “It’s a surprise.”
Kit puts his hands up in surrender and laughs. “Understood. I will be patient and wait to see it when it’s done.”
I give him a weak smile, the fatigue still heavy in my bones. My dream starts to come back to me, the memory playing behind my eyes like personified guilt. My mind flips through it over and over like the antagonizing meddler that it is.
Why did it have to send methisparticular memory? I am enjoying my time being in my own space and away from my friend. Why does it have to remind me of the good things she has done for me in the past?
“Are you okay, Pebble?” Kit asks, pulling me from my saddened stupor.
My head moves back and forth. “I had a dream about my friend. Mybestfriend… but we don’t feel like friends anymore, and I still don’t know what to do about that.”
“Are you talking about the girl who might have sent you on that date?” he asks, remembering the story I told him.
I open my mouth to deny it, to say she didn’t, but I honestlydon’t believe that anymore. The more we interact nowadays, the further away I feel from her. It’s not just that awful date sitting on top of us like a cloud that might start pouring rain any moment, it’s also our difference in opinions. Our paths are going in different directions, and my inner teenager doesn’t know how to accept that after having her as a savior for so long.
I see the friendship between Stacia and Rory, the sisterhood that they’ve managed to build while in broken places. Their fierceness, their commitment to each other. It makes me happy for them, grateful that they haven’t turned their backs on each other after all these years.
I don’t think the same is true for Cindy and me. I think somewhere along the way, we turned our backs on each other. I just can’t figure out exactly when that happened.
Finally, I nod in confirmation toward Kit and give a sad shrug. “I don’t know. Friends move on from each other sometimes, don’t they? I think I’m just having a hard time letting it take its course. Or I’m having a hard time understanding where everything went wrong. I used to love going to her house growing up. It was always so quiet and serene compared to my big, noisy family. But that time I spent in her apartment was, for lack of a better term,torture.”
Kit takes my hand and caresses my fingers. It soothes me as he uses the technique to keep me grounded. “You’re an omega. From what you told me, the conditions you were living in were not healthy for you. You don’t have to feel bad for catering to yourself and what you need.”
“I know,” I say. “It still doesn’t make it any better, though. Maybe that’s when things ultimately went off the rails. When I designated as an omega and she stayed a beta. I technically went through a different puberty than her. Maybe we just couldn’t understand each other after that.”
“Maybe,” Kit agrees, still rubbing my hand. “It could bethat, or it could be for another reason. All I know is, you shouldn’t beat yourself up over something that you can’t control. You can’t help the way you feel. And you shouldn’t judge the way you feel either. Living with her was terrible, and feeling that way is valid. Don’t gaslight yourself into thinkingyou’rethe problem.”
“But—”
Kit puts a finger to my lips, pushing playfully against them. “Shh, no.” He pulls his finger back. “You’re an extraordinary person. And an even better friend. You want to find a reason for this friendship falling apart, but I have to tell you a secret. You won’t find that reason, not in yourself. I know that for a fact.”
“You’re just saying that,” I say, but his words cause a tiny smile to sneak up on me.
“I will sit here and list a million caring things that you do if it helps you realize how amazing you are, Opal.”
The sentiment grazes the organ in my chest, enough to have it stutter out of place, but before I can fathom a response, he stands up abruptly and puts out his hand.
“Do you want to get out of here?” he asks me.
My eyes narrow at him playfully. “And go where?”
“Anywhere,” he says. “Somewhere cool, if you’re up for it.”
His mischievous smile hits me in all the best places. So, I take his hand, let him pull me from my spot on the couch, and return his naughtiness. “Bring it on.”
“That was fucking incredible,”I tell him as we enter the house. My adrenaline is still pumping, and the neon lights are still vivid behind my eyelids. I poke Kit in the chest. “Youwere incredible. What a prodigy!”
“I really doubt being good at laser tag could be consideredprodigy-worthy,” he jokes as we head into the kitchen. He makes a little noise with his mouth and pulls out the cat food we stopped at the store for. Before he even has the can open, Jemma is squeezing between our legs, meowing up a storm for her dinner.
“Yeah, yeah. You only ever respond to that noise for food,” he laughs and spoons some of the atrocious-smelling tuna into her bowl. Then he grins at her in admiration and pets her fur as she gobbles down the mixture.
