“Yes, Buttercup?” I ask as my character places down some cobblestone.
“You take blockers,” he observes.
I pause, looking from the screen to him. When I don’t see an accusatory look on his face, only one of pure curiosity, I nod.
“What do you smell like?” he asks, like he’s inquiring about a forbidden secret. He leans closer, keeping eye contact with me in a way that makes me feel revered and vulnerable. “I want to be the first to know.”
I crack a smile before giving in and whispering, “Lychees.”
His smile is adorable, giddy, and triumphant. He moves his character around with the joystick, picking up our crops on the screen that are ready to be harvested. He asks, “Why do you take them? If that’s too personal, I understand, but as another omega, I’m curious.”
For a moment, as I think about the reason, I panic. If I didn’t take them, my scent would be blazing with terror at the possibility of my secrets being exposed. But… Kit can’t smell me. Remembering that brings forth a whole new appreciation for the tiny pills in my system. I don’t have the courage in me to admit to him that I’ve known Sam was my scent match for the past year, or that I’ve known abouthimbeing my scent match for the past few months. The motivation to stay on my blockers stems from that shame, and I’m not ready to tell him that.
But it’s not the only reason why I started taking them. My thoughts go back to last year, the night that I met two omegas who changed my life, and the explanation spills out of me.
“I started going on blind dates last spring,” I tell him. “I was dedicated to finding my pack. Seriously, any alpha I came across, I’d ask them out for coffee or suggest we get dinner. I was lonely at the time, I guess.”
The partial lie feels putrid, like acid eroding my tongue. I hold onto the fact that it’s a half-truth. Iwaslonely, desperate for a lover or a real friend, but I didn’t have time to find my soulmate. I was looking for anyone who could help me.
“My last date was the worst one. It was with a man wholooked like Radagast fromThe Hobbit, just not as kind, and I doubt he was an animal lover.” Kit snorts at that description but lets me continue. “It was the worst date I’ve ever been on. He wasn’t discreet about smelling me, and he said some very vulgar things about my scent. I wanted to leave right away, but he was acting like… like Iowedhim something. It was terrifying. That was the night I met Rory and Stacia, so it wasn’t a complete waste, but… I don’t know, I’m not sure how it happened.” I shrug.
“What do you mean you’re not sure how it happened?” Kit questions, his usually cheery mood turning sour from the story. His frown is prominent, and I don’t miss the way he sits up just the tiniest bit taller.
“Well, it was a blind date set by my friend Cindy. She claims it was a misunderstanding and the real guy didn’t show up. But Rory doesn’t think it’s that simple.”
A slight growl comes from Kit’s throat in response. “They suspect your friend did that onpurpose?”
“I want to believe that she didn’t because… whodoesthat? But I’m not so sure anymore.” I shake it off. “Anyway, I guess you can say I was a little bit traumatized after that. I didn’t feel comfortable having my scent out in the open anymore, so I put it away. It’s been fine, for the most part. I miss it, but I’m not fully ready to go off them yet.”
“I’m so sorry that happened,” he says, his tone full of anguish.
“It’s in the past.”
He shakes his head. “No, Opal. That’s a horrible thing to experience, and I wish it hadn’t happened to you. I wish I could, I don’t know, find that son of a bitch and give him something else to talk about.”
He clutches his fist, tension pouring through his skin. Despite the serious nature of his response, I chuckle. “Kit, whoknew you were such an alpha? Does your omega make room for him?”
He snickers. “Shut up. I’m not sure why I’m feeling soangry.” He shakes his head as if to shake away the thoughts and laughs more prominently. “I guess you’re right, that’s very alpha of me.”
Very alpha and veryprotective. I bite my lip to contain how much that excites me.
“Anyway, about the blockers, I understand why you chose to take them. I would have, too.” Kit reassures me. “Thank you for telling me.”
We continue to play, the silence comfortable between us just like it always is. I’m cutting down trees mindlessly in the game when Kit touches his foot against mine. The sudden movement causes me to flinch in surprise, but then he just relaxes as his skin comes into contact with mine. My omega in my chest breathes with contentment, happy to be in this space with her match. I try to calm my breathing, but green eyes look into mine from across the couch, the playfulness in them leading my heart into an irregular beat.
“After our date, in the car…” he trails off, and I know he’s referencing our almost-kiss. The one I still regret not taking.
“Kit—” I start, but stop short. There’s nothing I can say to explain why I didn’t let him. I wish I had. There’s only the secrets between us that keep me from allowing the indulgence to spread.
“There’s a pull between us,” he whispers, still forming a bubble around us, showing me that we’re in our own world. “Am I wrong? Do you not feel this thing between us?”
I swallow, but my throat is dry. “I do feel it, but I just… don’t want to get in the way.”
“In the way of what?” he asks.
“Because you have a pack. One that I’m not in,” I answer like it’s obvious.
“Oh.” He gives a surprised look, like the thought had never crossed his mind.
