I’m appalled, much more shocked than I thought I would be. “You put my life in danger.”
Cindy blanches. “I didn’t know you would be in danger. I didn’t understand the way some alphas acted towards unbonded omegas. I had no idea it could be dangerous for you.”
“How did you not know, though?” I ask, trying to wrap my brain around it.Do betas really have that much privilege? Do they just not see or smell the difference between good and bad energy? Did she just not know that there were alphas out there so adamant on getting an omega that they kill or kidnap or worse?
“I… I don’t know. It’s not something I ever have to think about. Alphas see me in the street and they just keep walking, there’s nothing about me that they want, so I just…” Her eyes gloss over. “I didn’t think. And I’m so horribly ashamed, I’m so fucking sorry.”
My poor, dumb childhood friend. I am disgusted by the audacity, but I guess I kind of understand. Ever since we first met, I had always needed her. She pushed away the bullies, defended me, and built me up time and time again. When I designated, and I started gaining confidence, our relationship changed. Still, it’s a warped way of going about it, especially when she could have just talked to me about her fears.
“But… that last date. You still sent me there.”
“I know.” She nods. “I was trying to make things betterwith your pack! That’s why I went to Alpha Xi to talk to one of them, to push them into going to you.”
My brain practically glitches. “You were trying to push them into being heroes?”
She nods. “Exactly! Then you guys could work things out, and you could have a pack. I know that’s all you’ve ever wanted, so I was trying to fix it.”
I shake my head, absolutely incredulous about this entire thing. “I was already going to make things right with my pack. Your little stunt kept me from doing that. I thought you wanted totalk. About our friendship! I valued that, but all you wanted to do was play mind games.”
I don’t want to forgive her. I can’t find it in myself to do that at all.
“I understand, and I appreciate the apology, but I don’t know if I can forget this has happened.”
“Please don’t let this end our friendship,” she begs.
The sigh that escapes is heavy. “Cindy… our friendship fell apart a while ago. That first date messed me up, but it’s how nonchalant you were about it that pushed me away. All the snubs and passive-aggressive comments you’ve made in my direction. I don’t believe that will change, not right now. So, I think it’s best if we leave our past where it is and appreciate it without making it worse.”
“But…” She bites her lips, like she’s trying to prevent tears from coming. “I apologized. I know what I did was wrong now.”
“I don’t trust you anymore,” I say honestly, which causes her to flinch. The side of me that still cares for her breaks at the motion, but I stand strong. I can’t be around people who I don’t trust. “And you still said all sorts of things about omegas that don’t sit right with me. You need to work on your bias and figure out why you need someone toneed you.”
“I can change,” she says, taking a step forward, but I just take one back in response. When she sees it, she halts, realizing how serious I’m being. “I’m sorry. I’ll take designation classes. I’ll learn.”
“You should,” I agree. “But not for me. You should because you really want to learn. Because you really care about how your bias can hurt others.That’swhy you should take those steps. Not for our friendship, because it’s over.”
Cindy looks defeated as she finally nods. This moment has been bizarre in every way. Our earlier awkward moment of standing and staring at each other returns as she falls silent, but I can’t let it linger like I did before.
“It’s time for you to leave, Cindy.”
She walks to the door, defeated, and turns back. “I really am sorry,” she says, and I can see how sincerely she means it.
I nod, suddenly tired. The emotional rollercoaster of this conversation has really made my hormones go out of whack. “I know. Take care of yourself.”
As soon as she closes the door, I lock it behind her and turn to find my guys already there. Thatcher catches me just as my emotions finally catch up.
“You did so well, Omega,” Sam says, cradling my head. “You made the right decision. You need to protect yourself.”
“I know,” I say, hiding my face in Thatcher’s chest. “But it still hurts. It feels violating. How could she mess with me like that? And for such a stupid reason.”
“Things don’t make sense sometimes. What I do know is when we choose ourselves, it can hurt, but with it comes so much peace.” He continues to pet my head, whispering lovely words that help ease the sting.
After a while, as they all hold me close and comfort me in just the way I need, I realize how true that is. And now, I can’t wait for that wound to heal so my peace can finally begin.
FIFTY-FIVE
The guys from Alpha Xi rally in front of the TV, waiting anxiously for the draft to start. I’m not much of a sports guy, but seeing so many people assemble to support Atlas while he waits to hear if he’s been drafted is inspiring.
However, they won’t stop talking about the last championship game that Bensen lost. They had made it to the Conference Finals, but fell just short in the last period. Despite that, the entire team is ecstatic, and they are hopeful that it was a good enough season to get Atlas noticed. Thatcher was even a ball of sunshine through the entire championship run.
