“Right. Right. Okay. I just wanted to be sure our bases were covered.”
“Don’t worry, Sawyer. I’ll protect you from any blowback this might cause.”
“And just how much blowback do you expect?”
Lukas only shrugged. “The industry doesn’t like it when their dirty laundry is aired. Unless, of course, they’re the ones airing it for their own benefit.”
“I think that’s true of any industry. Knowledge is power.” I opened a new document in my word processor and settled my fingers on the keyboard. “Okay, so you want to touch on the early years, with a more in-depth talk about you in your teens and the events that led you to sign with your first studio? Is that right?”
Lukas nodded. “That sounds good.”
“And what about the… adult content?” I wished to God my face would stop giving away my embarrassment. It only made it worse. It was a terrible cycle. I got embarrassed, then ashamed that I felt that way, then it just made me look even more embarrassed. Maybe my brother wasn’t the only emotionally constipated person in the family.
“What about the adult content?”
“How detailed were you planning on getting?”
Lukas furrowed his brow, a set of lines appearing as he thought about my question. “I don’t think most events will need a lot of detail. There’s a couple scenes that are important to the story, and they’ll need to be somewhat explicit. But I think mostly we can stick to broad strokes.”
“Broad strokes. Got it.” And my chagrin only grew when I realized that I just used the word stroke in front of a porn star. My brain was an asshole.
FOUR
LUKAS
Fallinginto step next to Eugene, I gave him a pointed look. Eugene and I had met years ago when he’d been looking for more creative ways to ruffle his family’s feathers.
Our friendship had been an odd one at first. A man from a wealthy background and a guy like me who’d gone from a rough upbringing straight into the world of adult film. I’d said as much to him once, and he’d told me that wealth just gave bad parents more expensive ways to fuck you over.
“Your husband is a bit of a shit sometimes. You know that, don’t you?” Not telling Sawyer what I did for a living had blindsided us both. I’d been operating under the assumption that he knew what I did, and he’d been thinking I acted in commercials or some kind of off Broadway theater or something.
Eugene glanced at me, his eyes full of mirth. “I’m a good influence. What can I say?”
“He didn’t tell Sawyer what kind of acting I did.” I dodged people on the street. Eugene and I met at least once a month for lunch, and I followed him into one of our usual haunts.
He said nothing until we were seated at a table near the back where it was quieter. “Did he leave when he found out?”
“No.” I leaned back in the chair and crossed my arms over my chest. “But I could tell he was taken by surprise and a bit uncomfortable.” And as if I hadn’t found him attractive before, the way he blushed really did it for me. It wasn’t that I had a thing for the shy type, but Sawyer had that whole studious, boy-next-door look going on with his blond hair and eyes like dark caramel.
Eugene cracked up, but I failed to see what was so funny. When he was done laughing, he gave me his serious Eugene face. The one he probably used on Joe but wouldn’t dare to even attempt on Thurston.
“Sawyer is a good guy. A bit repressed. A lot shy about certain things. Personally, I wouldn’t have chosen him for this just because he turns eight shades of crimson when I kiss Joe and then Thurston in front of him. But Thurston is convinced that Sawyer is the right one for the job, and I trust him.” His face softened into something almost wistful, but it was gone before I got too close of a look at how gone he was for his husbands. Though it was Thurston and Joe who had legally married, they considered all three of them husbands.
“I wish he’d known ahead of time, though. It almost would have been easier if he’d recognized me.”
“Would it, though?” Eugene let me stew on that comment while the server came and took our order. He always ordered too much so he could take some home to Joe and pretend that he did it by accident.
When the server stepped away again, leaving our drinks behind and promising to be back with our food soon, Eugenelooked at me and started again. “We all know how well it went before when people knew who you were. They were either turned off or turned on. Sawyer got a chance to get invested in the project…” He paused and leaned forward. “In person, before he learned what kind of acting you did. That’s not a bad thing.”
“It wasn’t nice to spring it on him.”
“Fuck nice. It worked, didn’t it?” Eugene’s smile was wide, and he looked far too smug for my liking.
“It was your idea to not warn him beforehand, wasn’t it?”
“Thurston be deceitful all on his own? Never. I told you, I’m a good influence. Sawyer kept the job, didn’t he?”
My shoulders sagged, and I let the tension bleed out. “Yeah, he didn’t cancel the contract. We discussed different ways to approach the book while Lara laid at his feet and got his pants covered in dog hair.”
