He scoffed. “That’s big praise. It wasn’t horrible.”
Lara rolled onto her side, got to her feet, and shook between us, from head to tail, sending hair flying everywhere before she padded off the deck and onto the grass. Dog hair floated in the air like some kind of fluffy snow globe.
“My scene partner, Max, he was a bit older than me, and he’d been around for a while. He often shot with the new guys. I think he was onto Curtis by the time I started. He tried to warn me about him, but I was enamored.”
“Teenagers are easily influenced. Especially when someone is offering them everything they think they want.”
I hadn’t always known that, but I’d known it for many years now. I no longer blamed myself for some of the situations I’d ended up in, but hearing it from Sawyer set something inside of me free. It was like another piece of the guilt I held on to broke off and fell away.
The wind kicked up then, and the results of our impromptu grooming session with Lara swirled around us. Sawyer laughed and batted the hair away from his face. He brushed it offhis shoulders and off his neck, but some lingered in his hair. Shuffling forward, I reached for the stray hair. I took a breath, but didn’t exhale. Something compelled me to lean in. From the moment I laid eyes on him, I’d been interested in him. We were so different we might as well have been raised on different planets, but in that moment, we were just two men sitting in the sun, the breeze cooling our skin.
My hand lowered to caress his cheek, and I pulled him into me, slanting our mouths together. His lips were pillow soft. They parted in surprise, and it sweetened the kiss. Then Sawyer reached for me. His hands rested on my arms, and he started kissing me back. Tentative at first, like it had been a while since he’d been kissed and had to remember how to do it. Then he let out a sigh and melted into me, and I kissed him deeper, longer. I kissed him until my head swam, and my lungs burned with the need for a breath of fresh air. I broke the kiss, but rested my forehead against his and held him in place. Sawyer sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Wow,” he breathed.
I’d had too many first kisses to count. I’d kissed for pleasure. For work. For fun. For no reason at all. I’d kissed people I’d forgotten five minutes later, but I’d always remember the kiss I just shared with Sawyer.
“Wow, indeed,” I said before going for another, already addicted to his taste. To the way his lips felt under mine. To the way he touched me when we kissed, his hands almost as unsure as the rest of him.
Wow didn’t begin to describe it, and I’m not sure if mere words ever could.
SEVENTEEN
SAWYER
Lukas’s mouthwas soft against mine. Hesitant at first, then far more sure of himself as the kiss continued. I should’ve stopped it. I knew that, but… God. My head spun in dizzying circles as we kissed. The tip of his tongue swept across the seam of my lips, and I opened for him, allowing him entrance. He cradled my face in his hands. Held me like I was precious.
Beneath my trembling touch, Lukas was solid. Warm. Real. Fuck, this was really happening. The responsible part of my brain screamed at me to stop. To put distance between us instead of leaning in. To apologize and go back to ignoring the hot coal of want that sat in my stomach all the time now.
I wasn’t sure how much time passed before the kiss came to a natural conclusion, only that I was out of breath, hard as a rock, and desperate to feel his stubble on all different parts of my body.
I could’ve said a million different things. That was nice. or Thank you. Or, hey, that was super unprofessional of me, but I’dlike to do it again and again. But what I said instead of anything else was “What’s your real name?”
Lukas blinked at me, confused for a split second and then his face broke into a huge grin. His eyes twinkled with humor. “You’re not going to believe it.”
“Try me.” I sounded breathless still as I did my best to recover from that kiss.
“Cash. My real name is Cash.”
“Cash,” I said, partly in disbelief, partly to hear how it sounded, to feel his name on my tongue.
Lukas’s easy smile dimmed a little. “It’s strange to hear it again. I haven’t used it in years. Really, not since I joined the industry and picked my stage name. I’ve been Lukas Knight almost as long as I was Cash Sanford.”
“Do you have a preference?”
Lukas’s hands fell away from my face, but I reached for them and tangled our fingers together.
“I’ve been Lukas my whole adult life. But… if you wanted to call me Cash, that’d be fine.”
“Cash,” I said again, trying his name out for a second time. “It’s very adult entertainment, isn’t it?”
Lukas snorted a laugh. “I thought of keeping it and calling myself Cash Banks, but thankfully, Curtis did know a thing or two about the business and he convinced me that a clean slate would be better. I also think he just really hated the idea of signing a guy named Cash Banks.”
“It’s creative.” I couldn’t keep a straight face. My heart was hammering too hard against my ribs, and I felt jittery with joy, like I could shake out of my skin from the light bubbly feeling that rose up inside me. This connection between us was something I’d waited my whole life to feel.
“It’s terrible.”
“A little,” I admitted with a smile. “Lukas, that kiss?—”
