Lukas grabbed his wine glass and drained half in one sip. He shifted in his chair and Lara, as if sensing his discomfort, got up off the floor and lumbered over to him. He smiled down at her when she dropped her head in his lap.
“I’m dyslexic. And not just a little either. That’s why school was impossible for me. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult. Maybe if my mom had managed to be a parent, she might have had me screened for it, but I think the only reason she sent me to school at all was to get me out of the house.”
“That can’t have been easy.” I wanted to sink into the floor when I remembered that I’d asked him to read something.
“I can read, but I’m really slow. The same with text messages. I’m too self-conscious about errors, so I tend to use voice-to-text or send voice memos instead.”
“Oh, crap. That’s why you had me read to you. I’m so sorry.”
He smirked. “Don’t apologize. I’ve developed a system of workarounds that mostly don’t require me to reveal to people that it takes me half an hour to read a single page of text.” Lukas finished off his first glass of wine and poured himself another.
“What’s your system like?”
“Well, I’m never without my smartphone. I have apps that will read text to me. I also have a lawyer who takes care of all my contracts now. I’ve signed too many bad deals in my life to not look after myself again.”
“That sounds ominous.” I took a long drink of my wine and nodded when Lukas offered to top me off.
“You’ll learn more about that when we get to the first contract I ever signed.”
“The dyslexia really fills in a lot of the gaps for me.”
“I figured it might.”
“You were hesitant to tell me. Are you sure you want it put into the book?”
He nodded. “I’m not ashamed of it anymore. I was for the longest time, but I’ve done a lot of work with my therapist to deal with the embarrassment and the shame I felt.” Lukas tilted his head like he was curious. “You didn’t look surprised to hear that I was in therapy.”
“I’m not, to be honest. You’re a progressive person who is comfortable with who he is and where he came from. You’re too well-adjusted, considering your upbringing—no offense—to have never gone to therapy. Besides, if anyone can spot someone who has been to therapy, it’s a rich kid who grew up surrounded by people who either went or should have gone.”
“I bet you have some interesting stories from boarding school.”
Lukas’s comment caught me off-guard and I nearly choked on my wine. I cleared my throat and took another sip, this time managing to swallow.
“Believe me, my life would have been a whole lot different had they shipped me off to an all-boys academy. I think they knew before I did that I was gay. They’re not like…bigots or whatever, but I can tell they’d have preferred it if I’d been straight like my brother. He’s their perfect child. Smart, driven, doctor material, straight as a board.”
“Would it be rude of me to say that I’m not sure I like your parents very much?” Lukas held my gaze, the glass of wine cradled in his hand.
“No. As long as it’s not rude of me to say that I’m not overly fond of yours either.”
When Lukas smiled at me, his eyes twinkled and it was like the room held its breath.
“To surviving shitty parents,” he said, bringing his wineglass closer to mine.
“To surviving shitty parents.” I lifted my glass and gently clinked it against his, and the whole time I sipped, our gazes stayed locked. My heart thumped in my chest, and I wondered if he could hear it. Or if he knew how badly I wanted to lean across the table and taste the wine on his lips.
TWELVE
LUKAS
Sawyer wassoft around the edges in ways I wasn’t used to. Maybe I’d met too many jaded people. Maybe I was too jaded of a person, but I found him refreshing. His candor. His honesty. Hell, the way he cared about the contrast in our lives as if him having things was responsible for me not having them.
Revealing my learning disability to him had been tough. Most of the time it didn’t bother me, but Sawyer was smart. Well read. Educated. I didn’t want him to think that I was stupid and, as it turned out, that fear had been unfounded. Because once I’d told him, not only had a weight lifted off my chest, but Sawyer was understanding. For him, it filled in some gaps. And his concern about the rest of the world finding out was touching.
It’s not that I wasn’t used to people being worried about me, but for some reason, it hit different when it was him. I liked that he cared about me, at least enough to be concerned for me. I liked him enough to notice the way he looked at me across the table.
That was another thing I was used to. It wasn’t vanity that made me think I had tons of admirers, but my history with people had provided enough experience for me to see someone’s interest in me. And Sawyer was interested. He’d never let himself go there, though. I knew that too.
Was it the porn star thing? Or the fact that I’d hired him? Either way, it didn’t matter. Sawyer was a professional who deserved the courtesy of me keeping my dick in my pants. He had a pretty mouth with soft-looking lips. He seemed like the kind of guy who moisturized often. And there I was, thinking about his personal care routine like a weirdo.
