“I’m going to head up and shower.”
“I guess I’ll go.” Ash sounded off.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just have a bit of a headache, that’s all.”
“There’s some ibuprofen in the guest bathroom. Take a couple before you head out.” I ruffled Ash’s hair with my hand. “Did you set up the screen tests with Jax and Blue?”
“Next week.” Ash didn’t look particularly thrilled about that, but I chalked it up to him wanting to film with older guys. Blue was his age and Jax was only a few years older, but Ash seemed to prefer the older men. It wasn’t a big deal. Logically, I knewthat, but I still thought of him as a little brother. As someone I had to protect.
“Go home, kid. Take it easy tonight. You’ve been working your ass off the past couple months. You deserve a night off.”
Ash slid his fingers through his hair, trying to fix it, even though it still looked good after I’d messed with it. “I’m not a kid,” he grumped. “But you’re right about the night off. I do deserve one.”
“That’s the spirit.” I glanced at the time. “I’m going to jump in the shower. But I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon for the shoot. Can you be here an hour early to help set up?”
“What would you do without me?”
“Well, obviously I’d have to do all the set up and take down myself. So that would suck.” I tried to tousle his hair again, but he dodged out of the way and shot me a scowl.
“See you tomorrow, Lukas.” Ash spun on his heel and walked away. When the front door shut behind him, I left Lara in the kitchen and slipped away into the bathroom off my bedroom.
Under the spray, I pondered my sanity. Here I was, getting all cleaned up for a guy I’d hired. For someone I’d been glad to learn he hadn’t known my work. For someone I was determined to have a professional relationship with.
But I’d put the wheels in motion before my brain caught up to what I was doing, and now I had to ride it out. Sawyer was coming over for dinner. It wasn’t a date. It was a business meeting.
With food. That I cooked. In my house. Alone. Unsupervised.
Unless I counted Lara as supervision.
It wasn’t a date, but I scrubbed my body like it was. It wasn’t a date, but my cock had taken an interest and perked up in the shower. I’d never been one to deny myself a bit of pleasure, but I knew there was no way I could touch myself and not think abouthim. But if I didn’t jerk off and get it out of my system, my dick might make an untimely appearance later.
Reaching down, I took myself in hand. I kept lube in nearly every room of the house because there wasn’t a room that I hadn’t filmed in. Except my bedroom. I’d filmed a shower scene in this room a few months ago because it was roomier than the downstairs shower, and there had been three men crammed into it.
But I didn’t picture them when I drizzled lube on my dick and pumped my shaft, smearing it around. Water pounded against my back, and I braced my free hand on the tiled wall. Sawyer’s face appeared in my mind. His brown eyes hid nothing when he looked at me. I saw the innocence there. The way he’d blushed when I revealed what I did for a living. After that, there’d been no judgement of me, but I’d seen the curiosity bloom.
I closed my eyes and fucked my fist. Sawyer’s name lingered on my lips as my release built in me, low and hot and tight, winding my whole body up. Tensing every muscle on my frame. I didn’t make it last. Didn’t dare. I needed to get off and get it out of my system, and then I’d be fine.
I stroked myself faster, until my pulse hammered in my skull and my breaths came in harsh pants… and then I was coming. Splattering the tile with cum, I leaned more weight on my arm and prayed that my legs would keep me upright. Though I’d done my best not to think of Sawyer at the moment I’d come, I hadn’t been able to get him off my mind. But that was okay. I’d be okay now, I told myself.
I finished my shower and got dressed in normal, not-date-like clothes, and finished preparing dinner while I waited for Sawyer to arrive. By the time the doorbell rang at almost six o’clock, I’d practically convinced myself that the jerk session in the shower had never happened. I’d told myself that I wasn’t thatinterested in him, but the minute I opened the door, I knew that was a lie.
I was so into him.
Fuck my entire life.
“I’m glad you could make it,” I said instead, and invited Sawyer in.
ELEVEN
SAWYER
I should have refusedthe invitation to dinner. I’d told myself that I’d keep as much distance between Lukas and me as possible, but when he asked, I couldn’t think of a good enough reason to refuse. That’s how I found myself climbing out of my Uber with sweaty palms. Sweaty palms that had jerked me off while thinking about Lukas.
Dinner was going to be a disaster. I’d never been the calm, cool, and collected type around a crush. And I was definitely crushing on him. How could I not? Tall, dark hair, short, scruffy beard. He was exactly my type. He had a way about him too. When I talked, he made me feel like he was actually listening. A guy could get used to that.
Fuck, my bar is low.
