“This was important to us,” he said quietly, his voice pitched for her ears alone.
“Yes,” she confirmed, not breaking the flow of the music. “I played it the night before you left. Our last night together.”
Understanding dawned in his eyes. “The night we—”
“Yes,” she interrupted, a flush rising to her cheeks. “That night.”
His gaze darkened, dropping briefly to her lips before returning to her eyes. “I wish I could remember it,” he murmured.
“So do I,” she replied softly. “It was a very special moment for me—for us.” It was the first time she’d shared a regret, but she didn’t care. He needed to understand how she felt.
The nocturne built toward its climax, her fingers drawing emotion from the keys that reflected the tumult in her heart. When the final notes faded away, the room remained silent for several heartbeats, as if everyone present had been transported by the music.
“I think it’s past someone’s bedtime,” Caitria observed eventually, noting how Ava-Marie’s head had drooped against her shoulder.
“But I’m not tired,” the child protested, her words immediately contradicted by a wide yawn.
Lucien crossed to his daughter, lifting her into his arms with practiced ease. “Say goodnight to everyone, little one.”
Ava-Marie dutifully bid them all goodnight, her small arms wrapped around her father’s neck as he carried her from the room. Courtney’s heart squeezed at the sight—the tenderness with which he held his child, the gentle way he pressed a kiss to her forehead. The way he still took his daughter to bed as he would have done in Ireland, regardless of the fact that he had staff to do that.
“Well,” Julian said, rising from his seat, “I believe I’ll retire as well. It’s been a long day.”
“I’ll be up in a little while,” Serena replied. “I haven’t had a chance to catch up properly with Courtney.”
Courtney smiled at her sister-in-law for her kindness. It would be good to talk to Serena about the emotions swirling within her.
Once the ladies were alone, Serena asked, “Shall I call for tea or would something a bit stronger do, like a sherry?”
“Sherry, I feel.”
“Like that, is it?”
She shrugged her shoulders and sighed. “Sometimes I look at him and see my old Lucien and then other times, I see the haunted look in his eyes and see his pain. I don’t know how to help him or what he wants from me.”
Serena handed her a sherry. “I think he’s still the honorable man he was all those years ago and he feels trapped. He needs money and he knows a marriage to you brings him that, but he likes you and doesn’t want to trap you in a marriage you may grow to regret.”
“That’s not it. He could marry for money tomorrow. I know several wealthy families with marriageable daughters who would jump at the chance for a title—and he’s handsome enough to turn any woman’s head. No. There is something else worrying him. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it is something about me that troubles him.” Courtney couldn’t help but feel he was keeping something from her. “Have you heard anything that I’m unaware of?”
Serena shook her head. “Nothing.”
She sighed. “Maybe it’s nothing to do with me, but that he is still so in love with his wife that the idea of remarrying is repugnant to him.”
“You might be right. But his wife has been dead for two years.” Serena slapped her hand to her forehead. “Sorry, that’s me speaking without thinking. You have mourned him for five years.” They sat in silence before her sister-in-law added, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe he thinks it would be easier to marry someone who doesn’t love him because he may not be able to love them back.”
She knew Serena was right. She had to be. “Do you think if he loved me before, he could love me again? Do people get second chances?”
“I have no idea. He’s not the same man, but you have to ask yourself if he’s worth the risk of trying?”
The answer flew into her head before Serena had even finished the sentence. “Yes. He is. I lost him once before and I’m not going to lose him again.” She’d never voiced that thought before. But it was how she felt. They had friendship. They had desire and passion. Surely, in time, love would come. Or maybe she’d love him enough for both of them.
Serena stood and placed a kiss on her cheek. “I believe deep down you know what you want to do.” As she walked to the door, she added, “He’s a good man. He has a lovely daughter. And with your dowry, you could turn his family’s fortune around. You could have the life you always dreamed of. I’d say that’s worth fighting for.”
And that was the truth.
After Serena had departed, Courtney remained at the pianoforte, idly playing snippets of various pieces as she contemplated the day’s events. Lucien’s willingness to explore their shared past, his openness about his struggle to trust again—these were promising signs. Yet she sensed he was still holding something back. His love for his wife was the fortress between them.
“That was lovely,” Lucien’s voice startled her from her reverie. He had returned to the music room and now stood in the doorway, watching her.
