“Marrying me means taking on burdens that aren’t hers to bear,” Lucien said quietly. “That her dowry would go not to providing comfort for our future children, but to paying for my father’s gambling debts and my estate’s neglect. What woman would choose that willingly?”
“A woman who loves you,” Julian said simply.
“Love shouldn’t require such sacrifice,” Lucien replied. “She deserves better than a husband who needs her fortune to survive.”
Courtney’s heart clenched at the self-loathing in his voice. Here was a man torn between his growing feelings for her and his sense of honor, between his family’s needs and his desire not to burden her with problems that weren’t of her making.
“Perhaps,” Julian said carefully, “you’re underestimating my sister. Perhaps you’re so focused on protecting her from yourself that you’re denying her the choice to make her own decision.”
“Or perhaps I’m protecting her from making a decision she’ll regret,” Lucien countered. “When the romantic glow fades and she realizes what she’s taken on, what then? When she sees how much of her inheritance has gone to patching up crumbling walls and paying old debts, will she still look at me with the same warmth?”
The pain in his voice was unmistakable, and Courtney felt her anger at his mercenary considerations begin to soften. This wasn’t a calculating fortune hunter coldly pursuing her dowry. This was a man tormented by circumstances beyond his control, struggling to balance his feelings with his responsibilities.
“You’re borrowing trouble,” Julian observed. “Assuming the worst before giving her a chance to prove you wrong.”
“Am I?” Lucien asked. “Or am I being realistic about what marriage to me would mean? She could have any man in London. Why should she settle for one who brings nothing but problems and debts?”
“Because,” Julian said with quiet conviction, “she sees something in you that you don’t see in yourself. Because she’s already chosen you, financial complications and all. The question is whether you’re brave enough to trust her judgement.”
Silence fell between them, and Courtney could hear the distant sound of morning birds and the rustle of leaves in the garden. Her mind raced with everything she’d heard, trying to sort through the tangle of emotions Lucien’s words had stirred.
“I don’t know if I can,” Lucien said finally, his voice barely audible. “I don’t know if I can bear to see the disappointment in her eyes when she realizes what she’d be taking on.”
“Then you don’t know her as well as you think you do,” Julian replied. “My sister has faced disappointment before. You died and I watched her rebuild herself after utter desolation. She’s stronger than you give her credit for.”
“Perhaps,” Lucien conceded. “Sometimes I think it would be easier to marry a woman I didn’t care about and who didn’t care about me.”
Their voices began to fade as they moved further into the garden, and Courtney realized she’d been holding her breath. She released it slowly, her mind reeling from everything she’d overheard.
She gripped the curtain, her knuckles white. Part of her was hurt by his frank admission that her fortune had been a consideration in his courtship. But the anguish in his voice, his fear that he wasn’t good enough for her—that spoke to something deeper than mere calculation.
The sound of footsteps on gravel grew closer. They were returning.
Courtney quickly moved away from the windows, her heart hammering. She needed time to think, but not here where she might be discovered eavesdropping. She slipped from the library and hurried toward the breakfast room, her mind churning with everything she’d learned.
Lucien wasn’t a fortune hunter—he was a man struggling with impossible choices. The question was: what was she going to do about it?
She paused in the doorway of the breakfast room, hearing voices approach the library behind her. Whatever her decision, it would define not just her future but the kind of woman she chose to be.
“Courtney?” Serena appeared at the other end of the corridor, already dressed for the day. “You’re up early. Shall we break our fast together?”
“Yes,” Courtney said, forcing a smile. “I think I could use some company this morning.”
But even as she followed Serena into the breakfast room, her thoughts remained fixed on the conversation she’d overheard. Lucien had called his heart “irrevocably broken”—but what if he was wrong? What if hearts could heal, given the right circumstances?
What if she was willing to take that risk?
Chapter Thirteen
Putting her eavesdroppingbehind her, shortly after breaking fast, Courtney descended the wide staircase to find Lucien waiting in the entrance hall, dressed in riding clothes. Lucien looked so like his old self in his clothes that her heart couldn’t help but beat a little faster.
“You’re up early,” she said, feeling guilty. “Where is everyone else?”
“Lord Julian and Mr. Roberts left at dawn to inspect the northern boundaries,” Lucien explained, his eyes seemingly appreciating the simple blue walking dress she’d chosen. “Serena is helping Ava-Marie with a drawing project, and Caitria is organizing the girl’s wardrobe. She’s growing so fast, and needs new clothes.”
“So, we’re alone,” Courtney observed, a slight flush rising to her cheeks as she recalled their intimacy on the beach yesterday. She couldn’t get their kiss out of her head and had tossed and turned all night.
Lucien’s smile held a hint of mischief. “Not entirely. There are servants about. But I was hoping you might join me for a ride. There’s something I’d like to show you. A cottage I found the other day. You might know who resides within, as it’s not listed as one of the tenant properties, but I think it’s on my land.”
