That’s when panic really seized me. Because I knew they’d discover my pet. They’d charge us with kidnapping, but far worse than that was knowing they’d take her away from me.
The thought is unbearable. It’s made me realize that my obsession has taken on a life of its own. It’s getting a little too close for comfort to something deeper, something emotional. I guess the tables are turned. Now I’m the one who needs her.
Keeping away from her was the hardest thing I’d ever done, but it was necessary. Knowing the search warrant was imminent, we sealed off the fourth floor. The button leading to it was removed, the elevator rewired. We brought up a month’s worth of food, promised Lucy to double her pay if she’d remain there, then switched out the stair door to one that was concealed fully by a bookcase and which could only be opened with a remote control.
I’ve even had to disconnect the camera feeds. It would be far too easy to find them. Ihavekept the cameras in her apartment turned on, however, even though the footage is no longer stored anywhere, because I want her to believe I’m still watching. It’s the only way I can be sure she’ll behave. Especially since I can only assume she’s upset about what’s happened, and that her streak of rebellion is back.
The thought turns me on, even as I feel overwhelming remorse over how the situation went down.
Anyway, it’s a good thing we have so many connections, because sealing off the fourth floor took a surprisingly short amount of time. In one morning it was done, and by noon, the Feds were in the building. If it had taken us just an hour longer, they would have found her, but instead, their search was fruitless. We can breathe again, for now.
I’ve been aching to return to my pet, but I can’t yet. And I know how she must be feeling right now. Her little bursts of anger before made me laugh, but I realize whatever emotions she’s probably struggling with since Logan untied her are a lot darker. There’s been no way for me to send a message to her, to explain.Any communication puts her in danger. Not from the Feds, because I would kill the entire fucking agency before I let them take her away from me.
But from the rat. The rat, circling around, smelling us, waiting for the kill. The rat is still in the building. The rat is in communication with Angel, because those motherfuckers know too much. The only thing keeping me from going ballistic are Vale’s thin words of reassurance.
They’re on our side.
But as much as I try to reassure myself with those words, they fall flat. They’re not on our side. They may be on Vale’s side, sure, but not on mine. In our limited communication, they’ve made clear they know about her. Her name is on their tongue, and right now, all I want to do is cut each of their tongues out. No one says her name. No one but me.
And it’s a name I reserve for special occasions. For protecting her from her nightmares. For punishing her.
My thoughts turn back to Angel, to that fucking gang of lowly criminals that I involved in the Cole fuckup. I may blame Vale, but that was on me. I fucked up, because I allowed it. Now, they know her name. They have leverage, and the thought is terrifying.
If they ever took her from me, I don’t know what I’d do.
Well, I’d kill them. I’d flay every single piece of skin off them and chop their arms and legs off while they pled for mercy. But I’m a Devil, and I don’t do mercy.
But it wouldn’t bring my pet back. And for all my contempt of Angel, I know one thing well. They work fucking fast. If they decided to use their leverage, by the time I found her, it would be too late.
So all I can do for the moment is behave. Damien Wells, behaving like a fucking schoolkid. Playing nice with the Feds andplaying nice with Angel. All because of my little possession, locked up in her apartment, probably seething with anger and humiliation at the very things I’m doing to protect her.
But Angel isn’t the only thing causing me panic attacks lately. There’s Vale. And, oddly, Everest.
His qualms about the kidnapping have grown so great that I’ve begun to wonder what he’s capable of. Meanwhile, the Feds scare has renewed Vale’s conviction that killing her is the only way out. Devil Tower has become a dangerous place. I should move her, but if I do, I’ll be far away from her and won’t be able to protect her. It’s a conundrum I can’t seem to find a solution to.
And it fucking eats at me. I’m failing her, I know I am, and I can’t do a thing about it. My hands are tied.
For now, the only decision I’ve made is to keep the fourth floor accessible only by the remote control that opens the bookcase. I have one, and Lucy has the other one. I don’t know what else to do to keep my pet safe.
Other than not visiting her at all anymore, or at least, for however long it takes for Vale to stop breathing down my neck. But I’ve begun to realize just how determined he is. I can’t possibly wait him out. All I can do is delay my next visit by another day or two. Any longer, and I’ll go batshit crazy.
From an escape, poker has turned into a chore, a way for me to suss both Vale and Everest out, to try to figure out how best to protect my girl.
The air is thick with tension tonight. Vale has barely spoken a word all evening, and every time I glance over at him, he’s looking at me with murder in his eyes.
Everest looks shaken, but I don’t think he’s breaking under the pressure. Not yet, at least.
Unexpectedly, it’s Logan who surprises me. I’d steeled myselffor his teasing, but he hasn’t breathed a word about what he saw. A neutral confirmation was all he gave me as reassurance that he had followed through on my order.
It’s almost like… like he feels guilt over something.
Then there’s Igor. Who knows what’s going on in his head? Probably nothing, as usual, given his brutish expression.
I turn back to Vale who’s sitting across from me, out for blood.
“Call,” he grunts.
I put down my cards. “Full house.”
