“Aw, shit. This must mean we’re finally getting some tea on this mystery man. Ooh, did the P.I. find something?” I ignored Hollis who was making her way back into the living room as I continued.
“I give you Harlan muthafucking Triplett, aka the baby daddy. Well, not anymore. As you know, I hired a private investigator this past month, and well, ladies, the man finally got back to me. Not only did he get all new information on Harlan.” I hit the slide displaying the address and phone number, blanking out a few numbers and letters because Hollis would for sure make her way down there.
“Okay, so we got his location. What time are we pulling up?” Johnni asked while Hollis was already in motion heading for the door.
“I already went. And to my surprise, Harlan had a bunch of secrets.” I hit the next slide, displaying the video of the kids getting on the bus that Burkeley had captured.
“What the fuck is this shit, Mickey? And whose gotdamn kids are those?” Hollis now sounded confused and angry.
“For the sake of the presentation and to protect the babies, let’s call them mini one and mini two. Harlan not only had kids I never knew about but the Mrs. to go along with the full family.” I hit the next button with the rest of the video of Harlan and his wife kissing.
“Oh hell fucking no! Johnni, go hit my closet and get my gun. Mickey put on your jacket, mama. We’re going for a ride.” I let out an annoyed sigh.
“Can you sit down and let me finish?”
“Finish? Oh Mickey baby, you’ve said enough. What are you waiting for? Why the hell are you still sitting down, Johnni? We have to go kick his ass.”
“He gave up his rights, Hollis. It came with a lump sum of money and a nice threat. One that, at this point, I’m not trying to risk and see if he’s bluffing. All this!” I pointed to the screen as I hit the last slide with the picture of him and wife together as I continued. “…is evidence that I don’t…didn’tknow him. I’m only telling you so we can move on accordingly. That means drop all baby daddy talk; he no longer exists.”
While Hollis plopped back down, crossing her arms and mumbling something slick under her breath, Johnni sat there stuck with her mouth hung open for a second before she spoke.
“Wait, doesn’t exist? So what does this mean when you tell your parents? I don’t see your dad taking to this at all. Do you have a plan to tell them?”
I shook my head then Burkeley’s idea popped in my head and I regretted that it did because now it sounded like a good ass option.
Mickey, let’s be for real, your only solid option.
“This is why I don’t let you speak first sometimes, wrong question. What do you mean he threatened you and we’re not doing anything about it?”
“I swear you only hear what you want. Did you not just hear Mickey? She doesn’t want to risk it, and in her current state, I’m not going to force her. If she wants to revisit this later, then we can. For right now, let’s focus on producing a new announcement for your parents.” I smiled at Johnni hopping right into mother hen mode.
I fidgeted with my hands while my eyes bounced around the room and my lips started moving again.
“Now, before y’all jump to conclusions… I already turned down the offer, but I might have found someone who offered to be the baby’s father to meet my parents.” I had no idea why I even said anything, especially since I told Burkeley he was crazy for even presenting the idea.
Yet, here you are, tossing it out as if you would seriously consider doing it. I mean, it could work.
“Wait, what? Who? You’re not talking fast enough for me,” Hollis said, going for a piece of cheese with her eyes wide, now full of excitement.
“And if you turned whoever down, then why the hell are you telling us about it?” Johnni asked, squinting as she pressed her lips together.
I shrugged. “Because honestly…” I groaned, more annoyed with myself for even bringing Burkeley and his insane offer up. “Ugh, it’s too much to explain and to make it make sense.”
“Uh uhn, no fucking ma’am. If you have someone willing to step up and be your baby daddy and meet your parents, I need the who, the how, and the why you turned it down,” Johnni said. Of course, Hollis added her two cents.
“Right, right. I’ma say it again, you’re not talking fast enough for me. So, heffa speak now or get fucked up for withholding information.” I let out a nervous laugh as I prepared to tell them all about Burkeley and his plan.
“Okay, well, y’all know the private investigator I hired?” They nodded.
“It’s him. Burkeley came over the other night. I forgot to pay him and I got to talking to him, doing way too much, but I felt like it was a safe space since he knew all my shit anyway. So when I got ready to hand him the money, he spit out that he would meet my parents, but it came with a favor in return.”
“Oh hell no. There that plan went. I hope you told his ass no pussy. Wait, you said you turned it down anyway. Please give me a reason to load up and pull the trigger on a muthafucka.” I chuckled as I made my way over to Hollis, pushing her back down. I loved that she was always on go, but it wasn’t necessary.
“Umm… yeah I shut it down. That wasn’t the favor. Burkeley wants me to play his fake girlfriend for the holidays.”
“Oh, girl, that’s it? And here I thought it would be a real crazy ass request. If you don’t call that man and tell him you changed your mind.” Hollis kissed her teeth, waving me off, clearly annoyed now.
“Hollis! We don’t even know this man and you’re ready to throw our baby off on him. Mickey, I can understand why you hesitated and told him no, but the idea isn’t a bad one. Maybe we can?—”
