She offered a sweet smile—her version of the one I had given her in calculus—and turned her attention back to our teacher.
Indignation made my face hot, but then I realized it was actually just shame. Harper was right. I was a complete fraud. I had a million things I wanted to say that were true and real, but no one to say them to. Because of the façade I’d built to my parents’ expectations. A pretty house on the outside and a total mess on the inside that I kept designing in my mind to make it better. If I didn’t keep up appearances, the whole thing would come crashing down. What would happen to me then?
A strange thought infiltrated my mind.
I’d be free.
Chapter 5
Xander
I’m in Room 9.
I read Emery’s text, and my stomach tightened. One long wall of the Academy’s massive library was lined with study rooms: small, windowed offices, each with a whiteboard, round table, and chairs for six. Emery had chosen the last room, tucked in the corner, though every other room was empty.
Because she doesn’t want to be seen with me.
Day three of this high school experiment hadn’t gone as well as the previous two. Word had somehow gotten out about Dad’s breakdown and my mom walking out on us. I caught groups of students whispering and shooting me glances as I passed by.
Fuck them. My father had made groundbreaking discoveries in structures of molecular orbitals using ultraviolet photoelectron spectroscopy. None of these rich pricks would ever accomplish a fraction of what Dad had—never mind understand it—no matter how much money their parents threw at them.
I’d been stewing in different versions of those acidic thoughts all day, so that by the time my tutoring session with Emery arrived, I was in a foul mood. Her secrecy was a nice touch.
She’s probably been gossiping too, yet desperate for my help.
I leaned in the door of study room nine, my armor fully locked into place. “Hey.”
Emery had her study materials out, her pencil tapping impatiently. Her eyes rose to meet mine, and I could’ve sworn her cheeks flushed, her glossy lips lifted ever so slightly.
“Hey,” she said, almost a whisper. She cleared her throat. “Are you just going to stand in the door all day?”
“Depends,” I said. “Does this school have an underground bunker where you’d feel more comfortable? Or we could take the ferry to Connecticut. Pretty sure no one will see us there.”
She rolled her eyes. “Look, it’s just better if we keep our business private. For multiple reasons.”
“If you insist.”
I stepped inside, closing the door behind me. I felt her gaze on me as I set down my backpack and busied myself with retrieving my notebook, pencil, and graphing calculator. But this close to Emery, her flowery perfume was intoxicating, and my gaze was transfixed by the way her hair fell around her shoulders…
Cut it out.
I took the chair beside her. “Where are you struggling?”
“Where am I not?” She pushed her notebook to me, showing a page scrawled with notes. “From this morning. I don’t understand any of it.”
“Can I ask what might seem like an obvious question?”
“Why am I taking calculus in the first place?” She sighed. “Because my father insists that I take it. To pad my application to Brown.”
Without thinking, I blurted, “Brown? I thought you were going to RISD.”
Pronounced like Rizdy, she’d said seven years ago, her face lit up with excitement. It had been her dream…
Emery’s eyes flared with shock. I hadn’t meant to touch that conversation, but it was too late now. “Well? Isn’t that what you told me?”
On that perfect afternoon that you evidently forgot all about.
“I told you a lot of things that day,” Emery said, her voice stony. “But no, I’m not going to RISD. My father won’t allow it, and since he’s the one paying for college, I don’t have a choice. There. All caught up? Can we get back to the math, please?”
