She stopped beside my desk and set my paper face down with a concerned look. I curled the top of the paper over.
A+, but then underneath she had writtenPlease see me after class.
“I’ll meet you at lunch,” I told Harper as the bell rang.
Ms. A shut the door after the last student left. “I’m happy to report that your UCLA financial aid package is wonderfully substantial, with more grants than loans and a small stipend for housing.”
A strange mixture of dread and relief flooded me. “Wow. It’s really happening, isn’t it?”
“Looks like you should have the money at the end of the summer.” She lowered her voice. “You accomplished what you needed to, Emery. You’re free to pursue your dreams with almost full autonomy.”
I swallowed hard. “Great. Thank you.”
“It’s hard, isn’t it? Such a big leap.”
I nodded. “I know it’s what I have to do to, but the finality of it and how my dad will react… It makes me nervous.”
“You don’t look nervous, Emery, you look terrified. And the fact that you had to go to such extremes is a worrying sign.” She crossed her arms and leaned against her desk. “In your paper, you wrote about the pressure Juliet was under to please her father. How furious he’d been and the names he called her when he learned ofhersecret marriage. Baggage. Disobedient. How he’d been prepared to disown her completely and how powerless she was, caught between her love and her loyalty to her family.”
“Not very subtle, right?” I managed to smile.
Ms. A did not smile back. “I want to tell you something personal, if you don’t mind. Before I came to CHA, I was living in Phoenix. Ifledto Rhode Island, clear across the country, to escape an abusive marriage. He didn’t hit me, but he took great care to ensure I felt worthless, scared, and doubtful of my ability to take care of myself. I was a grown woman, and it took me years to find the courage to leave. You’re only eighteen, and it breaks my heart that you face this kind of abuse from a person who is supposed to love you unconditionally.”
I felt tears stinging my eyes. “Thank you for sharing that with me. It helps to know that I’m not crazy for being scared or for feeling stupid that I still want to keepsomeconnection to my family.”
“That’s a natural instinct, even if it’s ultimately harmful.” She cocked her head. “Can your mother help at all? And what about Xander? Is this a favor he did for you, or is it something more?”
“It started out as a favor, but now it’s so much more. It was supposed to be my ticket out of Rhode Island but I…I love him. Ilove him so much, so another part of me says I should forget UCLA and go with him to Boston. But…”
“But?”
“It doesn’t feel right. I can’t explain why. I want to be with Xander more than anything, but whenever I think of Boston, I get a tight feeling in my stomach. My dad has offices there. My mom goes to Boston just to havelunch. But when I think of UCLA, I feel like I can breathe.” I shook my head miserably. “Xander understands that; he knew it before I did. But at the same time, I know it hurts him. It hurts him a lot. He thinks if we try a long-distance relationship, it won’t last.”
Ms. Alvarez nodded. “Life is messy and complicated, and sometimes it seems so murky, you can’t see your way through. That’s what your internal compass is there for. To guide you to what’s right, even if what’s right is the hardest thing.”
“It’s so hard,” I said. “Leaving my family. And Xander. I’m terrified. But I’m also terrified about what happens to me if I stay.”
She smiled sadly. “I think that’s your answer.”
“Thank you so much for everything—”
A knock came at the door, and the president of the Academy’s secretary popped her head in. “Dr. Sterling would like to see both of you in his office.”
Ms. A and I exchanged glances.
“Both of us?”
“Both of you.”
The knot of dread in my stomach tightened as we walked the halls to the uppermost level of the school, where the president’s office was located, overlooking the marina. Reed Sterling sat behind his desk, an imposing man with gray hair and a sharp suit. At the window, his back to us, stood my father.
Oh no…
Dr. Sterling rose as we came in. “Ms. Alvarez, Miss Wallace, please have a seat.”
There were three chairs in front of Dr. Sterling’s desk. Ms. A took one, I took the middle, and my father, without a word, sat beside me. I glanced sideways, but his face was impassive as always. Unreadable.
Dr. Sterling sat and folded his hands on his desk. Behind him, framed degrees and a dozen awards and letters of recognition filled the wall. “Mr. Wallace has brought to my attention that you, Alicia, have facilitated an application for Emery to a university in California.”
