***
After the reception in the church parish hall, Harper said she wasn’t feeling well and went home. It was obvious Xander wanted some space, so I drove home, too, with a new sense of dread in my gut. My dad had gone from demanding I go to college to not talking about it at all. And the night at the Chart House…
This is a very important dinner…
I shivered and went to the side door. I heard the shouting before I even stepped inside. Jack’s bellows and my father’s sharp exclamations. Dad hardly ever raised his voice, which made it more frightening. In the kitchen, Belinda was stirring something in a bowl and crying.
“Oh, Miss Emery…”
“What’s happening?”
I raced to the living room, where Mom was standing between Jack and my father. Jack—still in all black—had a duffel bag thrown over his shoulder and one finger stabbing the air at my dad.
“I’mthe degenerate?” Jack screamed. “You’re the one who killed your son! You’re the one who has to live with what you’ve done for the rest of your miserable life!”
“Put that bag down,” Dad shouted. “You are not to leave this house with one item. Everything you own belongs to me.”
“Bullshit!” Jack cried. “This is my bag. I paid for everything in it myself and you know what? It doesn’t matter how much stuff you hoard, or how much money you make, it will never bring him back!”
“Jack, please,” Mom begged. Then she saw me. “Emery…”
Jack spun around. “I’m done, Emery. I’m getting out. And if you’re smart, you will too.”
My gaze went between them. “What? No, Daddy, don’t kick him out—”
“Kick me out?” Jack snarled. “I wouldn’t stay if youpaidme.”
“Never mind, Emery, let him go,” Dad said. “If he wants to walk away from millions—no, billions—then that’s his foolish mistake to make.”
“Is that how much Grant cost?” Jack cried, his voice breaking. He turned to me. “You know he didn’t just happen towalkin front of a train, right?”
My mother sank into a chair. “Jack, don’t.”
“All that bullshit they’ve been feeding us for years. He didn’thave his fucking music on too loudlyand thenaccidentallystep in front of anything. He did it on purpose.”
I felt as if the floor was falling out beneath me. “What…?”
“You shut your mouth,” Dad bellowed, his face red.
“Grant killed himself,” Jack cried, “rather than spend one more fucking minute trapped in the box you locked him in.”
But I’d always known, somehow. I just didn’t want to look at it. I didn’t want to believe. I shook my head, tears falling. “No…”
“Yes,” Jack said, tears streaking his own cheeks. “That’s what happens if you step out of line. If you want something for yourself. Emery, come with me. Walk out the door right now.”
“I-I can’t. Where…?”
“Do not move, Emery,” Dad said. “She is not as stupid as you, Jack. She is a young girl who will not survive on her own.”
Colin appeared at the door. “Time to go, Mr. Jack,” he intoned.
Jack moved toward the front door. “Last chance, Em. Come with me.”
“Wh-where are you going?”
“He doesn’t know,” Dad said, calmer now. “He has no plan. No future. He’s going to live on the streets, giving blowjobs for five dollars apiece. Is that what you want, Emery?”
I didn’t know what I wanted, but it wasn’t this. I wanted Jack to stay. I wanted my mother to stop crying and my father to stop shouting. I wanted us to be happy, and it was slipping through my fingers.And it hurt, almost more than anything else, to know that I wasn’t enough to hold us together.
