CHAPTER 10
MADDOX
"Sorry I got carried away." I'd suggested we practice kissing, but I hadn't expected her to agree so quickly.
When she'd stood between my legs, the blood had drained from my head, and I wasn't thinking logically. That was the only explanation I had for touching the back of her legs, prodding her to straddle my lap.
I lost all sense of reality. I hadn't been with a woman in a long time, and I'd forgotten that this was supposed to be pretend. I shouldn't be hot for my pretend girlfriend.
I thought I could handle this. That the arrangement would help me get promoted. But what if it turned into something more? Was I ready for that?
She smoothed her hands over her leggings as if she were brushing fuzzies off them. "That's a good thing, right? People will believe this is real, that we're attracted to each other."
I looked away from her, my throat tight. "Iamattracted to you. But acting on it isn't a good idea."
"Right. Of course." Her words were stilted as she looked around for her phone. "It's late. I should probably get going."
I stood, my blood still pumping hard. It was better that she leave now before I did something I'd regret later. Thisarrangement was supposed to satisfy Frank and the town council's concerns about my ability to do my job. I wasn't supposed to get involved with her for real.
Sofia probably wasn't ready for me to date again. At least that's what I kept telling myself.
It was easier to repeat that mantra than to sit down and consider what I wanted. There were too many societal pressures and rules about dating after the death of a spouse. It felt like a danger zone.
"Thanks for coming over."Thanks for straddling my lap and kissing me. For letting me forget that I was a widower or even a single dad.It felt good. But I couldn't tell her any of that. It wouldn't be wise.
Eve nodded, her professional mask on. "Of course.”
I opened the door for her.
She turned to face me. "You know, I'm happy to help you and Sofia. I like you."
I couldn't do much more than incline my head in response because the words were bottled up in my throat.
She stepped outside into the cold, and I waited for her to get inside her car and turn on the engine. Only after she backed out did I close the door and let out the breath I'd been holding. I ran a hand through my hair and headed back to the room to clean up our mugs.
That was close. Too close.
I'd almost lost my head entirely. I had been a few seconds away from pressing her back onto the couch cushions and having my way with her.
There was no question I wanted Eve. It made sense. I hadn't been with a woman in a long time. I hadn't bothered to date after Marla died. First, I was mired in grief, then weighed down by the pressure of being a single parent.
I'd never felt ready or met anyone that would make me reconsider my position. Then there was everyone else's opinions on the right time to move on after a spouse died. It was enough to drive me crazy.
I didn't want to do anything to hurt Sofia or tarnish the memory of her mother. I wanted to be respectful of the situation.
But it felt good to let go, even for a few seconds.
When I invited Eve over here, I wanted to see her. but I hadn't planned to kiss her. The idea popped into my head when we were discussing logistics.
If we were going to pretend to be dating, then people would expect us to kiss. It was better to tackle it in the privacy of my home than on the sidewalks of Christmas Town.
I just hadn't expected it to be so hot or that I would lose control so quickly. Maybe I'd neglected my needs for too long.
Could I give into my desires and not screw everything up? My dick was running the show at the moment, and I couldn't be sure that was wise.
I rinsed the mugs in the sink, leaving them for the next day. Then I headed to bed. Once I'd brushed my teeth and got under the covers, I pulled out my phone.
Maddox: Let me know when you're home okay.
