Maddox: I still want to help. Let me know if there's anything I can do. Even if it's just moving tables and chairs.
Eve: We have staff for that. We host one of these parties every week. Don't worry about anything. I have it covered.
I'd keep him apprised of the situation. He'd get busy with work and leave it to me. It was easier this way.
Maddox: If you're sure.
Eve: 100%
When he didn't respond, I let out a sigh of relief. It was easier to push people away. I didn't want to get too close to anyone. I hadn't been dating like Natasha had when our parents died. He'd essentially broken up with her because he couldn't handlethe situation. It wasn't just that people left and let you down. It was better if I just handled everything. I could count on myself. I didn't want to be disappointed.
Maddox had shown me who he was, and I shouldn't want to help him beyond hosting the department's annual holiday party. This was a job, nothing more.
I shouldn't care that his daughter was sweet and sad. Or that he was grumpy and unsure about everything. I wouldn't let them get to me.
I turned over my phone and got back to work. This I could handle. It wasn't confusing.
A few hours later, I rubbed my eyes. My contacts were dry. I needed to take them out for the night, and I should grab a few hours of sleep before I went into work. I wanted to be ready for any concerns or issues that might pop up tomorrow.
I needed to plan the department's holiday party and avoid the hot, single dad firefighter. He was grouchy for good reason, and he wasn't looking for anything.
I knew what he was going through, and I should be sympathetic to his grief. But at the same time, I had to protect myself.
It was easier to be alone. No one would disappoint you or disappear from your life. When we bought this property, we knew we'd be busy. Too busy to start new relationships or pursue anything outside of work.
I was holding up my side of the bargain. This town was too important for me to get distracted by a brooding man or his sweet daughter.
Too many people were depending on me. The shop and restaurant owners, Natasha, and even the recipients of the toy drive we were running.
We couldn't afford to hire anyone to do the work for us. That meant long hours in the office, and at home, for me. But if itmeant taking something off of Natasha's plate then it was worth it. She was always taking care of me, and now it was my turn to ease some of her burden.
Just because she was the elder sister didn't mean that she needed to bear the brunt of our parents' death or even the responsibility of our new venture.
I'd prove that I was up for the task, and that she could count on me.
When I finally slipped into bed, my head was filled with images of Maddox in his kitchen, cooking and eating at the table. Talking to his daughter. It was a sweet scene, something I hadn't ever been a part of, or at least not since my parents died.
Now it was just me and my sister, and my heart ached for all I'd lost. For what Sofia had lost. They had a lovely life together, and I didn't fit into it.
As I tossed and turned, I convinced myself that Maddox reminded me of everything I'd lost. It wasn't that I longed to be in his kitchen or his house. I admired what he'd gone through and how he was handling it, even if his boss worried he wasn't doing enough.
He was surviving, and that was all that could be expected in times of grief. I'd buried myself in work to avoid feeling too much.
Maybe Maddox was dealing with his feelings, and I wasn't. He was further along in his journey, whereas I was stuck. I kept telling myself I'd deal with everything after the business was successful. When Christmas Town became a primo destination spot for locals and tourists.
But what if that never happened? What if I never had success? What then? Did I ignore my feelings? Bury them deep so I didn't have to deal with them?
I couldn’t handle those questions, which made sleep elusive. Tomorrow, I'd work harder, so hard that I'd pass out at the end of the night.
But I wouldn't think about Maddox and Sofia or what they'd been through. He was my contact with the fire department. Nothing more.
CHAPTER 6
MADDOX
Iexpected Eve to reach out with more questions about the holiday party, but she didn't. Either she was a control freak who wanted to plan everything herself, or she was avoiding me. If it was the latter, I couldn't blame her.
Everyone at the firehouse said I was grumpy and difficult to be around. I thought I'd smoothed over the worst of it when Eve was in my house, but maybe this was my permanent state of being. I wasn't capable of being nice.
