“She gave me her ID when I booked our flights. I saw her middle name was Jenelle. I remember thinking how crazy that fact was, but I moved on, not even close to putting two and two together.” I look forward, continuing to talk. “There was a point on the trip where I started to see her differently and actually wished it were her.”
She grabs my arm. “Shut up! Then why are you doing this? Why are you so mad at her?”
“Because she knew—like, knew for sure—it was me the entire trip and didn’t say anything.” I pause, remembering how she felt underneath me. “We shared an incredible night?—”
“Ew, gross.” She smacks my arm. “But go on.”
I chuckle at her antics, then begin again. “You know Nicole hid things from me. How can we start this relationship with her doing the same thing?”
“First, Nicole was a financial fraud—don’t forget that. And second, this is totally different.”
“Is it though?”
“Yes, it is. She wasn’t keeping it from you because she was doing something bad. She was keeping it from you because she was trying to still figure it out herself. I’ve listened to you talk about how you guys would go back and forth at work for a while now. How did you feel when you really put it together that it was her?”
My eyebrows scrunch together as I look at her. “I was pissed!” I say a little too loudly, making the woman next to her jump slightly in her chair.
Katie waves her off, making sure she knows everything is fine and our conversation won’t escalate. Then she gives her attention back to me. “I know you were pissed, but try to imagine what she felt when she found out. Take out the fact that she knew before you, and try to think what you would have felt like if you’d found out before her.”
“I would have been good with that. I liked the girl from the app. Knowing it was someone I already knew would have just made things easier.”
“Someone you already knew or someone you already hated?”
I raise my eyebrows at her. “According to you, I already liked her, just didn’t know it yet. She, on the other hand,hatedme. Said so herself.”
“Hateis a strong word.” She tiptoes around her thoughts, trying to convince me otherwise.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Shedespisedme. Is that a better word?”
I sit forward, done with this conversation and feeling worse because of it.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
David
It’s been two days since I got back home, and if I thought it would make me feel better, I was wrong. Being back home and in my room again has brought so many emotions back to life.
JJ and I still share a room, even though my bed is completely covered with his crap while I’m gone. Thankfully, he hasn’t complained much since I showed up, and he’s even kept to his side of the room like he did when I still lived here.
Ever since Nicole and I broke up, I haven’t thought much about my future when it comes to relationships. I threw myself into my work and made it my only focus. This past week of talking to Jenelle—or rather, Zoe—online and then spending the weekend together made me realize just how much I’d missed having someone there.
I’d thought I’d be fine, being alone, since I was in New York City, but now I see just how much I was fooling myself and, honestly, starting to work myself to death. My run with Donny on Saturday mornings was the only social thing I did.
My life was sad, but I was too messed up in the head to even notice. It was easier to do that than try to wrap my head around how I could be engaged to a person who was keeping something that big from me.
All of my friends decided to throw me a bonfire tonight to welcome me back home, so I’m hoping it will help get my mind right, or at least let me forget about my problems for a few hours.
I walk downstairs in my Ariat jeans and boots with my cowboy hat, which was still sitting in the closet, knowing I’d never wear it in New York.
“There’s my baby boy,” my mom says, opening her arms wide to give me a hug. “I’ve missed you looking so handsome like this.”
“What? You don’t like me in suits?”
“Of course I do. This just fitsyoubetter, is all.” She gives me one more hug, then goes back to what she was doing in the kitchen.
I convinced JJ to let me take my old truck tonight, and when I climb in, it’s like no time has gone by. The truck roars to life, filling me with a sensation I haven’t experienced in a long time.
When I was sixteen, this truck brought me my first taste of freedom, my first love, and my first heartache. The memories overwhelm me in a way I wasn’t expecting, so I blast the stereo and put the truck in reverse to see what other things I can dig up for old times’ sake.
