“So, you’re just going to let him burn to death?” I fight back, trying to get out of his hold.
“Feddeler!” he shouts, throwing me to the ground. “It’s too late.”
The chief runs to where we are. “You two okay?”
Hayes responds, “We’re fine. One casualty in the truck.” He looks at me. “There was no one else in there, right?”
I stand with a huff. “No,” I respond before walking away.
I get it that Hayes is twelve years older than me, so he’s even more hardened than I am, but I’ll never understand not trying.
We spend the next few hours helping to clean up the mess and put out the fire.
Once we’re back at the station, I grab my stuff and head to my truck, not even stopping to take a shower to clean off the filth from the morning.
Before I open my truck door, Brax stops me. “Hey, you can’t be mad at Hayes.”
I push his hand off of me. “Yeah? Why not?”
“Because he saved your life, asshole!” he shouts back. “You would have died right alongside the guy if Hayes hadn’t stopped you from going back there.” He pushes me in my chest. “And don’t fucking forget that!” He storms off, leaving me standing there.
I open the door in a huff, throw my stuff in, and climb inside. Once I do, everything from the morning washes over me, and I completely lose it. Tears fall from my eyes as I punch the steering wheel. All I keep picturing in my head is the guy askingme to help him and I didn’t. I’m a fucking failure, and now, someone is living their worst nightmare of losing a loved one because I didn’t do my job fast enough to get him out of there.
I must be causing a scene because I look up and see Hawk and Hollywood heading my way. Before they can say a word though, I start the truck and squeal my tires as I leave the parking lot, not wanting anyone to say shit to me right now.
I drive into my garage, not feeling one ounce better, so I cut the engine and head straight to the house, kicking off my shoes. I take my clothes off in the laundry room and throw them in the washer before I enter the rest of my house.
Turning on the shower, I step in, not giving a shit how cold it is, hoping the water will shock this feeling inside of me.
It doesn’t.
I stay there for twenty minutes, just letting the water hit me as I replay every second in my mind, wondering if there was a way I could have done something different.
Frustrated beyond belief, I get on with my shower routine and shut the water off, not having a clue what to do with my life now.
As I’m getting dressed, I hear my garage door open.
“Fed,” Myles yells out.
Should have known he’d be here.
“I’m back here,” I respond, knowing he won’t leave until I do.
He stands in my bedroom doorway and just stares at me.
I hold my hands out to my sides. “What?”
He raises his eyebrows. “You good?”
“Do I look fucking good?”
He sighs. “Come on. Marchy is opening the bar for us. Choir practice we go.”
“It’s ten o’clock in the morning,” I state like that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
“Yeah, and you almost fucking died today. So, special circumstances call for going a little early. Let’s go. I’m driving.”
I reach in my drawer to grab a pair of socks, knowing there’s no way he’ll take no for an answer.
