“See what I mean? How can anyone not love that?” I run over to Cailin and pick her up, so she’s closer to where the giraffe is feeding off a tree.
“His tongue is crazy!” she says in amazement.
Sarah joins us on my side. “Their tongues are almost a foot and a half long.”
I turn to her in shock. “Seriously?”
She slightly drops her head back. “Yes, seriously. That’s how they get the leaves off of tall trees.”
“How do you know this stuff?” I ask.
Her eyes crinkle at the sides. “I teach kindergarten, remember?”
Cailin wiggles her way out of my arms and runs to where a baby giraffe is walking toward us. “Daddy, come here. Is he taller than you?”
I head to where she is and stand up tall to the animal that seems to be my same height.
Sarah takes out her phone. “Here, let me take a picture of you two.”
I make a silly face at the giraffe, hoping she’ll get the shot. Laughter from both her and Cailin make me turn to face them.
“She meant me and you, not you and the giraffe, Dad,” Cailin says through a fit of giggles.
“Oh, sorry.” I fake ignorance while I pick her up, and we pose with the baby animal.
“Perfect,” Sarah says.
Cailin runs toward her. “I want to see!” Her face lights up at the vision on the screen. “Now, one with me and you, Miss Russo.”
I pull my phone out from my back pocket and click on the Camera app. “Yes, let me take it.”
Sarah leans down to pose with Cailin. As I stare at the vision of the two of them through my screen, something hits me in the chest. I’ve never wanted Cailin to go without, and I’ve tried to give her the best life I could, but I’ve never seen her radiate happiness the way she is now.
Peacefulness I didn’t even know existed flushes through my body. I thought Cailin was the ultimate high, but seeing her with Sarah has just taken that up a notch. I never thought that Cailin needed anyone else besides me and maybe Linda, but have I been wrong—for both of our needs?
* * *
“Thank you for going with us today,” I say after getting settled on the freeway, heading back home after having dinner together.
Cailin didn’t even make it this far before passing out.
I sneak a quick glance at Sarah and feel a pain in my chest when I meet her eyes. There’s something about her that makes my heart pound for seemingly no reason at all.
“I had so much fun. I’ve never been with just one child who’s old enough to walk on their own and actually be interested in the animals. I brought my niece a few years ago, but she was a little too young. It’s fun to be able to relax more and enjoy the animals without stressing over where everyone is or if they are taken care of.”
“Do you enjoy teaching?”
She lets out an uneasy breath, and I turn to see her expression. She’s staring out the window like she’s thinking. I touch her hand. I can feel that whatever she is thinking isn’t good. I felt it last time we had this conversation too. There’s something she’s not letting me in on.
When our fingers first meet, she flinches ever so slightly. When she doesn’t turn, I grip her harder, opening her palm and entangling my fingers with hers.
I feel the tension slowly leave her body as I run my thumb over hers.
Finally, she speaks, “It’s not like I don’t like teaching. I love it actually. It just wasn’t my first choice.”
I decide not to push her and ask what that first choice was. Obviously, it’s something she still struggles with, and who am I to bring up sore subjects from the past?
We drive in silence, hands intertwined.Like a Nightmareby Deadset Society comes on the radio, and I turn it up slightly, using the control on the steering wheel.
