He stands back a tiny bit with a shit-eating grin on his face. “Following me?” He smirks, and I want to smack him.
“You know what I mean.”
He grips my hand again. “Come on, I’ll walk you out.”
I grab my purse and follow him out to my car.
He opens the door and pauses with it between us. “This is new to me too, you know. I’ve never really gotten to know anyone outside of Linda and the guys in my band. I haven’t met anyone I cared to actually get to know.”
I smile as I take in a deep breath. He talks so nonchalantly, like him wanting to spend time with me isn’t a big deal. To me, it’s astronomical, yet to him, it’s just getting to know someone. I need to remember that.
I place my hand over his that’s holding the door open. “I’d be honored to get to know you, Adam, just by what I’ve learned from Linda and your daughter and nothing more.”
His expression softens, and I see it—the man who just wants someone by his side. A friend, a confidant, maybe even a lover. He’s ready to let someone else in. I just hope I’m strong enough to be that person.
14
Adam
I’m asleep on my stomach with my pillow curled under my arms when Cailin comes running into my room.
“Did Miss Russo stay the night?”
“Excuse me?” I ask, trying to hide my surprise while being half-asleep.
“I thought she was going to have a sleepover.” Her little lip pouts out, so I reach out to her, pulling her into my bed to cuddle with me.
“No, sweetie. Adults don’t have sleepovers like that.” I close my eyes while kissing the back of her head.
“Why not? It’d be fun to wake up and have breakfast together, and then we could hang out.”
“Maybe we can call her later.” I sigh, closing my eyes, hoping for a few more minutes of sleep.
Last night was the first night—without Cailin hitting me—in my bed in months, and I don’t want to get up yet.
Cailin sits up and turns to me. “Oh, please, Daddy, can we?”
I open one eye to see her pleading with her hands curled up under her chin. I fall to my back and push out my arms to stretch my body awake.
I didn’t think about how wanting to get to know Sarah better could affect her. Cailin knew her first, and she’s her teacher. Is there some line I shouldn’t be crossing when it comes to Sarah? Linda was quick to point out how she thought Sarah would be good for me. If it’s wrong, I don’t think she would have suggested such a thing.
Is this all moving too fast though? I don’t even know the woman, and Cailin’s begging for her to come over when she barely left a few hours ago. I don’t want Cailin to get attached and then have something happen, putting Cailin through unnecessary sadness.
I cross my arm over my eyes. So, this is why I haven’t dated all this time. Why am I putting my feelings over wanting to get to know a woman better in front of hers? But she likes her too. I guess that’s better than bringing a stranger around, right?
I tell my brain to shut up and sigh, giving in to both of our desires.
“We’ll give her a call, but I don’t know if she already has plans, so I don’t want you to be upset if she can’t.”
She climbs off my bed. “I’m going to go get dressed. Get up, so we can call her.”
I glance at the clock to see it’s seven twenty—otherwise known as too early. It will take some getting used to, being on a more normal schedule. While on tour, we’d stay up late and crash on the bus until we arrived at the next venue.
I should have gone to bed last night after Sarah left, but being around her made my mind buzz with lyrics. I stayed up until two in the morning, jotting everything down.
It’s been a while since I had inspiration like that, and I didn’t want to stop until I got it all out.
Devil’s Breed’s lyrics are raw and gritty, but everything coming out of me last night was anything but. It wasn’t sweet and lovey-dovey, but it had meaning. I use a lot of my past to fuel my songs. I like to give people something to believe in through my music. I want them to know they aren’t alone in their anger, their anxiety, and the fucked up lives they were born into.
