Adam turns to me in shock and then awe. His face spreads in the biggest smile as she turns the page and continues the short story about a rabbit trying to steal a carrot.
When she closes the book and beams back at Adam, he wraps his arms around her. “That was amazing! I can’t believe how smart you are.”
If I’m not mistaken, he’s blinking back tears but lets out a bark of a laugh when she says, “Duh, Dad. Of course I’m smart!”
“Of course you are. I never doubted it for a second.” He pats her back and points his head toward the door. “You ready to get going? I’m sure we’ve taken up enough of Miss Russo’s”—he stops and glances at me for a brief second—“Sarah’s time.”
“It’s no problem at all.” I shrug, trying to play it off.
“Do you live here all alone?” Adam asks, doing a quick once-over of my place.
“Sure do. It’s been fun, having someone here to come home with me after school.”
He lifts Cailin to his side and stands up. “We can’t thank you enough for your help, especially for teaching her that song. I’d love to come sometime if you guys are going to do it again.”
Pure panic runs through my veins as I think of what to say. How could I not realize that he would want to see her perform in person? That willnotwork.
“Oh, um, yeah. We’ll have to set up another time soon. I won’t be there the next few weeks. I’m working with the teens on a special presentation they’re doing,” I lie and hate myself for it.
Cailin’s bottom lip sticks out in a pout. “But I wanted to sing again.”
I place my hand on her back. “You will. Just not right away. Let me finish this project, and we’ll set up another time.” More lies.I’m going to hell for sure.
I hurt for her. She just wants to show off to her dad, but I don’t have the heart to tell her that it will never happen—at least, not there.
I’m afraid of what my dad would do if Adam were to step foot in his church. I feel bad about lying, but knowing my father, I’m saving Adam and Cailin from a disaster that is bound to happen.
I hate that my dad is so judgmental. Church should be open to every person who wants to worship, no matter how they dress or what they look like. Unfortunately, he’s as old school as they come, and with what happened in the past, it’s not a risk I’m willing to take.
They head toward the exit. Adam grabs Cailin’s backpack as I open the door. “Will you be dropping her off tomorrow, or should I expect Linda?” I ask for more selfish reasons than not. There’ve been a few times I’ve answered the door mid-bite or while brushing my teeth, so I’ll have to be prepared if Adam will be at my place early tomorrow.
Adam stops and faces me, mere inches away. His eyes sparkle brightly in the afternoon sun peeking through my doorway. I fight hard not to bite my lip or show him how his simple glance makes my heart pound and my palms sweat.
“If it’s okay, I’ll be dropping her off and picking her up from now on, but we’d love to keep the same arrangement, at least for a little while longer, of us meeting here still. I want people to get used to having me here before I show up at the school every day.”
My stomach jumps into my throat. Every day. He’ll be here every day.
How can I try to avoid him if he’s here everyday?
I know my face is bright red, and the slight tug to his lips shows me he notices.
I can’t get out the words, so I raise my eyebrows and nod my head, forcing a smile on my face.
“Bye, Miss Russo!” Cailin yells—thank God!
“Yes, bye, Sarah. See you tomorrow.”
The way he saystomorrowoffers more hope than I wish to admit. I need to remember he’s from a world I don’t want any part of. I cannot go back there.
Or can I?
Lord help me …
11
Sarah
I couldn’t sleep a wink last night, and to make matters worse, I climbed down the rabbit hole again and was up at two in the morning, watching every video I could find on Adam.
