Donnie covers me with his large frame, taking me to the ground with such force that my shoulder comes down with a shooting pain.
My head throbs, and then there’s darkness.
Totaldarknessis all I know after that.
And my dreams … they fade away just as fast.
1
Sarah
Seven Years Later
“Morning, sweetheart. Just calling to wish you good luck on your first day. Is your classroom all set up?” Mom asks over the phone as I walk out the door of my small apartment.
I grin at the memories of helping her set up her classroom over the years.
“Yes. I finished everything last week and prepped the next few weeks until I’m able to get some parent volunteers.”
I can only imagine her smile when she says, “I’m so proud of you, Sarah.”
Hearing these words is bittersweet.
My mother retired from being a kindergarten teacher five years ago, and I know she misses it every day. I took the reins, stepping seamlessly into her classroom and keeping the traditions going. It wasn’t my first choice, but following in her footsteps definitely helped the sting of not being able to follow my own dreams—or rather, having my dreams ripped from me.
“You know you’re welcome to stop by anytime you want. Principal McAllister was asking if he’d see you this year,” I say as I head toward my car.
I hear her slight laugh under her breath. “You know I can’t stay away, but I’ll wait a few weeks to let everyone get in the groove of things. Then, I’ll see if anyone needs help.”
I open the car door, juggling my coffee and purse while holding my phone up to my ear. “What’s on your schedule today? Has Dad finished prepping this Sunday’s sermon?”
My father, Pastor Russo, spends every morning working on his weekly message. He studies and reads scripture daily until it’s perfect. If only, somewhere in that scripture, there were something that taught him to not be so harsh on his own daughter.
“He’ll spend a few more hours on it this morning, so I’m just sitting here on the back deck, sipping my coffee. I’ll probably read or crochet for a bit.” Her tone leaves nothing to the imagination.
I know, to some people, that would sound like heaven but not my mom. She’s bored spending day to day with nothing really big to do. Besides teaching, tending to my dad, or caring for me and my sister, Emily, she’s never had a hobby that she was passionate about. Now that she’s retired, I can tell she questions things a little more and is looking for that next something in her life.
“Call Emily. I’m sure she could use the help with Emma,” I suggest. I know my niece, Emma, lights up her world like she does mine.
“She already has a playdate set up, but I’ll find something to do; don’t worry.”
I slide into my Honda Civic, juggling the phone and my stuff as I do. “Sorry to cut this short, but I have to get going, or I’ll be late.”
“Okay, honey. Have a great day. I know the kids will love you. Call me when the day is over.”
“I will. Bye.”
I start the car, loving the new system that automatically hooks up my phone’s playlist to feed through the speakers. Morning talk shows are fine, but I want music to get my day started off right. It helps calm the anxiety twirling in my stomach.
The first song to pump out is a high-velocity rock song by Devil’s Breed. They’re a popular band among the rock circuit, known for heavy bass lines, powerful drum solos, and the enigmatic, deep, and somehow soulful vibrato of their lead singer, Adam Jacobson.
I dance my fingers on the steering wheel as I belt out the lyrics to their songDon’t Need You. Of course this is at the same time I drive past my father’s church where he’s set the weekly inspirational billboard to say,The Lord hears you, even when you sin quietly.
Way to take the joy out of life, as always, Dad.
I arrive at school thirty minutes before the bell rings, and already, families are playing on the swings and blacktop. I pause for a minute to take in the new parents, wondering who will be in my class. And yes, I said parents, not kids. At this age, a lot of their tendencies are learned from their parents, so I can get a good gauge on the kids just by watching their interactions. And this group looks good … so far.
The first day is always a little nerve-racking, even for us teachers. Kindergarten can be a very exciting time in a child’s life, but at the same time, it can be a challenging one. With the bad also comes the good.
