He reluctantly steps back, allowing me to enter.
I nod my head. “Thank you.”
He sits down at the large desk, and I take a spot on the opposite side. Family pictures of Sarah and her sister cover the dark wood from when they were little up until more current ones.
I smile at the little girl Sarah once was. I can only hope that, one day, Cailin turns out to be as amazing as Sarah is.
I look Pastor Russo directly in the eye. “I know you don’t approve of me in Sarah’s life, and I’m here to try to mend that relationship. I can only imagine how hard it is to raise a little girl and one day watch her leave to create a life of her own. I know you only want what’s best for her. I do too.”
“And you think you’re what’s best for her?” He eyes me up and down, disgust written all over his face.
I hold my head high. “It’s not about what I look like on the outside. These tattoos are how I express myself. Every single one has meaning. What should matter is what’s in here”—I place my hand on my heart—“on the inside. I know what love is. The day my daughter was born, it smacked me across the face. I wasn’t lucky enough to have a father who cared for me like you do for Sarah. I want to stand by you, not in front of you. Sarah deserves the best life she can lead. Music is what she wants. Music is what’s healed her.”
He stands up, his chair falling to the floor with the force of his movement. “Your kind of people and music are what almost killed her. You have no clue what we had to do to help with her recovery after the accident.” His eyes widen as he clenches his teeth. “Inevergot my daughter back.”
He inhales, taking a moment for what he said to sink in. Any hurt he just felt is removed, and anger sits firmly in its place. “Then, I found out she had been selling herself to the devil the entire time, performing in strip clubs and horrible bars. She was lying to us and would go weeks with only one meal a day. All of her money thatIhad been sending her was paying for the one thing that almost took her life.”
He glances down, shaking his head. When he looks back up at me, his face is stern. “God has shown his path for her. He forgave her sins and gave her another chance.”
“That is what you do when you’re passionate about something. You should be proud your daughter has that kind of drive that she’s willing to sacrifice for what she wants. If you can honestly say God has shown his path, then why am I here right now? Why did he bring Cailin into my life? Why did he bring Linda into my life, who gave me music and told me to enroll Cailin in your daughter’s class?”
His body language relaxes, and I know he’s hearing my words.
“I see the looks I get all over town, the way I’m not welcome here, but you know what? This is where I want to raise my daughter because of how highly Linda speaks of this town as a great place to raise a family. I’m willing to put my own feelings aside, so Cailin can have friends and someone who loves her like a grandma would, even though they share no blood relation. I don’t want her to grow up in a big city. I want her to be able to ride her bike and go to the park where other families are as well.”
He steps back slightly. Even though he’s been against me this entire time, I’m thankful he’s listening to what I’m actually saying.
“I’m not going to lie to you, sir. I’m not a religious man. I’ve never had someone show me the way of the Bible or what it feels like to believe in something higher than me. But if you think her injury was God punishing her, then please explain to me why he would bring me into her life. If you believe one, then you have to believe the other.”
I pause, seeing if he has a response. When he doesn’t, I hold my ground and never break my eye contact with him, giving him a second to let everything I said sink in.
“I’m in love with your daughter. I just want what’s best for her. We’re performing on Thanksgiving at the iHeartRadio benefit in San Francisco.” I place a ticket to the event as well as our demo tape on the table. “As a father myself, there isnothingthat would stop me from seeing my daughter shine the way Sarah does. Put everything you think of me and my type of music aside and listen for yourself. Your daughter has talent that no one can deny. I know it’d mean the world to her to have you there. But it’s your choice.”
I step back, waiting for a brief moment before saying, “Thank you for your time,” and then I turn around to leave.
I said everything I had to say. If he comes to support his daughter or not is up to him.
36
Sarah
“Breathe,” Maggie says, placing her hands on either side of my head.
I might or might not be freaking out just a little. I made a huge mistake by looking out to the crowd. And that’s not including the millions of people watching at home.
We’ve never performed the song live. Of course, we practiced, and we did a trial run onstage earlier today, but now that the time is here, my stomach is flipped so far upside down, you’d think it’s riding the most insane roller coaster known to man.
I’m so glad Maggie was able to be here. My sister, mother, and Linda are in the seats. I love that they’re here as well, supporting my dreams.
The only person missing is my father. I try to pretend that it doesn’t matter, but every time I think about it, sadness washes over me. I just want to know what it feels like to truly have his support, something I’ve never had from him.
That’s definitely not the case with Maggie. She’s been there since day one, helping me find the guys in New York and giving me feedback on lyrics. I couldn’t have done it without her.
Adam surprised me by flying her out for the show. I was beyond shocked when she showed up at Adam’s front door a few days ago. He amazes me at every turn, and with every day, I fall for him more and more.
I look into her eyes and take a deep, cleansing breath. “I’m okay. It’s okay,” I say more to myself than to her.
She laughs and engulfs me in a hug. “Just keep saying that, and it will be.”
