3
Mackenzie
"What'syour plan while you're home, Mackenzie? Are you going to stay here in town?" Nancy, Tracy and Connor's mom, asks as we all sit around the dinner table, half finished with ourfood.
No one knows why I'm really home except my family and Tracy, and I want to keep it that way. Even though Nancy has always treated me like family, there's no need for them to be that involved in mylife.
"I'm still feeling out my options, but I might move to San Francisco if everything pans out," I answer, trying my hardest not to look in Connor'sdirection.
"That would be fun. I'm sure Connor could help you research a place." She smiles fondly at herson.
"Yeah, no problem. Do you want a roommate situation or a place of your own?" Connor asks, not skipping abeat.
"Probably roommate. I hear it's pretty expensive," I reply, trying to act unfazed by him offering to helpme.
He laughs. "Expensive is the understatement of the year, but I was talking to a few girls who live below me the other day. They mentioned their roommate was moving out, and they were looking for a new one. Maybe I can askthem?"
"Who are these girls you mention?" his mom asks, hopeful for news of him finding agirlfriend.
"Come on, Mom. They're Mackenzie's age. Not my thing," he states matter-of-fact, crushing my heart in onebreath.
She hits his hand. "Now stop. That's only four years younger. Your father and I are three years apart. There’s nothing that says you can’t date a youngergirl."
"I get around girls her age, think of Tracy, and nope, can't do it," he says, sticking a forkful of food in hismouth.
When he looks up, our eyes meet, and I swear it's more than the normal friendly glance. He actually stops mid-chew before slightly shaking his head and turning it back to hisfood.
"Well, either way, it would be nice if you could get her a place close to you. You've always been like a brother to her, and I'm sure a girl could use all the protection she can get in a big city like that," Nancy says, crushing my soulagain.
He's never been like a big brother to me. He's been everything but that. He's been the standard I've held every guy I've ever dated up to, each one of them falling short. I search for that feeling I got when he offered to share his Twix bar withme.
My parents allowedme to go home with Tracy tonight after our dance recital. I was a nervous wreck having Connor in the audience the entire time. My eyes were glued to him and at one point he looked directly at me. Like the ditz I am, I tripped and almost fell on my butt. Thank God I was able to keep my balance and move on, but the smirk that covered his face told me all too well that henoticed.
Now that we’re back in her room, I keep kicking myself for not being able to keep my head on straight during theperformance.
“We’re putting on the movieScreamif you guys want to watch it?” Connor asks from the door of Tracy’sroom.
Like always, my breath hitches and my nerves take over. Thankfully, Tracy answers for the both of us. “Sure, I’ll make thepopcorn.”
The two siblings still fight but it’s definitely calmed down once we entered junior high. This is the first time he’s invited us to watch a movie with himthough.
I curl up in the corner of the couch and Connor sits on the other side with Tracy in the recliner and his friend on the floor. My heart pounds out of control. It takes all my power to focus on calming it without looking like I’mhyperventilating.
“Here, do you want the other half of this Twix bar?” Connor turns to askme.
Pure joy fills my heart and for once I’m able to act like a normal human being when I respond, “Sure, thankyou.”
Connor breaksmy thoughts when he says, "I'll ask. Then I'll let Tracy know if they have a spot, and I'll give their info to her so you can callthem."
Wow, not even alet me get your number. No. He'll relay a message.Ugh.
I try to hide my defeat over the situation. "I'd appreciate it," I say, paying more attention to my food, though my appetite is completelygone.
"Didn't you go to the city yesterday?" Tracy asks, and I instantly turn my head in surprise. "Were you looking for placesthen?"
I didn't tell her why I was going. I just sent a text, saying I was heading to the city when she asked what my plans were for thenight.
"Um, no. I went to a club," I state, trying to blow the subjectoff.
