“We’ve been talking, and on some point it’s none of our business, but on the other hand we’re uneasy knowing you lied to us,” Chantel states,unsure.
I glance at Katy and Robin, but both seem just as nervous as I am. Silence surroundsus.
“I went to where you said you worked today. Where you said you’ve worked for awhile now,” Katy says, uneasy in her statement. “They said they had no clue who youwere.”
Shit.My head falls back on the couch as I fight the tears filling my eyes.I won’tcry.
“We just want to know why you’re lying to us?” Robinasks.
“Because I’m sick,” I choke out, closing myeyes.
When I open them, all three girls are staring back at me with shock and question covering theirfaces.
“You’re sick?” Katy whispers, like she’s afraid to say it out loud. “That’s why you’re lying about where youwork?”
I fill them in on my prognosis, as well as the real reason why I moved to San Francisco, and where I’ve been every day up until the study wascancelled.
Their faces remind me of why I kept this asecret.
“I’m so sorry, Kenzie,” Chantel says, coming to sit next to me and giving me ahug.
“I hope you understand why I didn’t want you guys to know. No one reallyknows.”
“Does Connor know?” Robinasks.
I tell them about Tracy, how she told him and how he’s helping me check items off my bucketlist.
Sharing these last few weeks with them remind me why I made this silly list. Sometimes in the darkest clouds, rays of sunshine still shine through and their faces prove that. Connor has proved that tenfold.
I feel better now that I’ve told them. I never liked lying about where I was, but I hope things won’t change between us. Connor doesn’t understand why I don’t want to tell people so maybe he’s right. I shouldn’t be afraid anymore. All that does is hold me back and I want to live the best life Ican.
20
Dear Diary,
Ihaven’t writtenin a bit. I’m actually feeling really good right now about everything. Connor is perfect. He almost has me believing he’s not constantly thinking about my condition, and he wants to spend as much time with me as he can because he wants to, not because he feels he has to. I couldn’t behappier.
Mackenzie
Connor
This list hasthe funniest things on it. Some are as simple as go to a football or baseball game, while others definitely take some planning. I’ve been able to help her cross a few things off, and each time I attempt to surprise her in theprocess.
It takes all the fun out of it if these things are planned. The reason she’s doing this is because she wants to experience real life, doing things everyone experiences at least once in their lifetime. I want them to happen in a natural way, as they would in anyone’s life.Spontaneously.
One of the more interesting things on her list was singing in the rain. When my friend told me of a commercial shoot filming in a small town not far from here that was using a rain machine, I knew this was mychance.
I’m sure sneaking onto their set is frowned on, so I contacted the production company and told them exactly what’s going on. Not only were they on board, they took it a step further and helped me set it up, asking if they could filmit.
Everything was lining upperfectly.
Once I get Mackenzie in the car, she turns to me. “So where are we going? Why are you being sosecretive?”
I wink at her. “Because that’s the fun of it.” She playfully huffs in her seat before turning the radio to a country station. I squint my eyes at her. “You’re lucky you’recute.”
She laughs and turns it up louder, singing every word to the song I’ve neverheard.
An hour later, we pull into a small city with their downtown completely blocked off. Mackenzie looks around having no idea what’s goingon.
