Dear Diary,
Tracy thinksI’m being selfish. Being with Connor is something I’ve wanted for what feels like my entire life. He’s the only guy I’ve ever thought about this way. Is it that wrong? I just want to be happy, and he’s giving me that, but why does my heart break as I writethis?
Mackenzie
Mackenzie
My eyes widenwhen I wake up the next morning to see Nick sneaking out of Katy’sroom.
“Well, good morning,” I say, catching him offguard.
He shines me a shit-eating grin with a nod to his head before Katy follows directly behindhim.
They head straight for the door where their goodbye lasts longer than any normal one should. Afterward, Katy joins us in the kitchen with a huge smile covering herface.
“Fun night?” I ask trying to bite back my laugh making Tracy almost spit out hercoffee.
“Fun two nights,” she replies over her coffee mug before she takes asip.
I fill Tracy in on who Nick is before Katy changes the subject. “What’s up with you twotoday?”
Tracy looks at me in question, not sure how to answer that without explaining everything else in my life. When our eyes meet I reply, “I thought we’d go get breakfast then we’re going to head downtown, maybe check out someshopping.”
It’s not a total lie. We are heading downtown just for something that not many people ever have or even want to experience. Today we’re checking off anotherbox.
Tracy and I have been dancing for years together and when I told her I wanted to audition for the San Francisco’s production ofThe Nutcrackershe said she would go with me and try out aswell.
At our age we both know it’s a lost hope but that doesn’t stop me. I don’t need to be in the show, I just want to be up on stage, even if it’s only for a fewminutes.
“Well, you guys have fun. I’ve got to go get ready. Will you stay another night,Tracy?”
“No, I have to head backtoday.”
Katy gives Tracy a hug. “It was so nice meeting you. We’re sure happy your hot brother introduced us toMackenzie.”
“God, what is it with everyone on Connor’s jock around here?” She shivers with a laugh and Katy joinsin.
“Have fun today,” Katy says as she walks back to herroom.
I search for the time and my stomach flips when I see we have to get going. Tracy sees my flutter and asks, “Youready?”
I nod, taking a deep breath. “Let’sgo.”
When we arrive, there’s a room full of girls stretching and perfecting their pliés. I say girls because that’s exactly what they are. The oldest girl here looks sixteen and is a stark difference to our age but I try to shake itoff.
Tracy and I dress in our ballet shoes and join them in preparation for the chance of a lifetime. Her name is called first and she jumps up. “Wish me luck,” shelaughs.
I love that she’s here with me. Doing this ridiculous thing but not caring one bit. Her support means everything. I wish I could watch her audition but only the judges are allowed in theauditorium.
A few minutes later, she comes leaping out of the room with the biggest smile covering her face. “Ahhh!” she screams. “That was so amazing!” Her arms wrap around mine hugging me tightly. “I can’t thank you enough for having me dothat.”
“How did youdo?”
She laughs. “Oh, I bombed it but I don’t care. It was incredible being on thatstage.”
“Mackenzie Thomas,” I hear someone call myname.
“You’re up. Go knock ‘em dead,” Tracy says, giving me anotherhug.
