Makes me sick.
Mainly, I feel sorry for her. Why would you want to be with someone who you know doesn’t love you and is only with you to save his own reputation? His true feelings about the situation were how he reacted when she first told him of the baby.
But I’ve kept my mouth shut. She made her bed and now she can lie in it with the cheating bastard he is.
I just wish I could stand up for myself. Voice to everyone who asks what’s going on and tell them how much I miss Alex. Tell them how he was this amazing guy deep inside who was trying to make good of his life.
I can’t tell them I’ve fallen in love when I shouldn’t have, and because of the stupid rules my job has I have to be alone and miserable instead of fighting for the man I love.
Alex meant what he said, too. He left the next morning and I haven’t heard from him or seen him since. I guess that’s better in the long run, but it still hurts.
Layla’s been there for me, sitting with me while I cry my eyes out in a pint of Jamoca Almond Fudge ice cream, but I think she’s even getting sick of my sadness.
A big sigh releases from my lips as I grudgingly lift my arms to type one more email before I shut it off. The day is finally over, and I’m so ready to go home to curl up on my couch and do nothing.
Right before I turn off my computer, an email pops up from an address I don’t know with the subject line of: The High Road.
I open the email, which reads:Listen to the lyricswith a link to a YouTube video.
Clicking on it, a window opens to a music video from Three Days Grace calledThe High Road. Of course I’m familiar with the band and the song but I’m still confused as to why someone sent it to me, so I listen.
It’s not until the chorus when I hear it talk about being a mistake and doing whatever it takes to make it so you can’t live without them that my heart starts to pound and my palms sweat.
I take a deep breath to calm my nerves, trying not to get my hopes up but remembering Alex saying something similar to me before.
Just as the song ends, another email pops up with only the subject line of:Come homeand nothing in the body of the email.
I don’t even bother turning off my computer. I just grab my things and run out the door, not caring about the repercussions I might face from running through the halls.
I need to get home, now!
My heart beats faster than I can function and my hands tremble as I try to reverse out of the parking spot.
The line to get off base is a few cars long and I try to take deep, calming breaths as tears spill over from my eyes.
Everything possible is running through my head.Is it Alex? Is he really here? Did he come back?
I shake my head, focusing on taking deep breaths in and out, just getting home as quickly as possible.
When I pull up, I see a black, old muscle car parked next to my parking spot. Visions of this car flash through my memory. I’ve seen it multiple times in my parking lot and around town but now it’s in my visitor parking, throwing me for a total loop.
Just as memories of Alex’s tattoo flash through my brain, the door opens and I sit, frozen in anticipation as I watch Alex exit the car.
My hands shake as I put my car in park and try to undo my seatbelt before opening my door.
He stops a few feet away from me as I push my door shut and lean against my car, still in shock.
We stare briefly at each other, both not saying a word, until Alex reaches his arm out, breathlessly whispering, “Jenelle…”
Tears spill over once again as I run into his arms, hugging him tightly until we lock lips, feeling every emotion run through my body, igniting into him.
I pull back, running my fingers along his face, feeling him to make sure he’s real. “Alex… You’re here? How?”
He laughs. “Yes, I’m here. I’ve been here awhile, but I had things I had to do first.”
I stare at him more but stay gripped in his arms. “You’ve been here? In Vacaville?”
“Yes, but I couldn’t come to you until I was ready.”
