“No. Actually I don’t. Why don’t you tell me?”
“You know our work won’t allow this. What’s happening between us. I could get in a lot of trouble. I wish it was different, but it’s not.”
Alex’s fists squeeze tightly together as he takes a deep breath and bites out, “Fuck our jobs.”
“I can’t do that, Alex. This job is my life. I'm an Officer. If I get kicked out, my life is over.”
“So what, I’m just your toy then?”
Tears start to fill my eyes, “I’m sorry, Alex, I’m truly sorry. Maybe this was all just a mistake.”
I try to push my way past him but he holds me close just as tears roll down my cheek and onto his bare chest.
“No, Jenelle. You can’t say that. We’re not a mistake. I’m not a mistake. I just want to be the man you can’t live without, why does our job have to matter in that?”
I choke back a sob. “It’s not fair. I know. I don’t want to lose you but there’s more. Alex, they’re discharging you from the military.”
He pulls me off his chest and holds me at arms length. “What?”
“Yes, Alex, they’re moving forward with a dishonorable discharge. After you were arrested they said if you stepped out of line one more time than you were out. There was nothing I could do.”
“No! They can’t do that!”
“Yes, Alex, they can. And they are.”
Tears fall freely as I watch panic take over his face. Shaking his head, he stomps back to his room. “No! They can’t do this.” He’s back in a minute, fully dressed. “I’ll go talk to them.”
And just like that. He’s gone and I lose all control in the middle of his apartment.
Alone.
10
The military startedhis discharge immediately and their first work of order was to move him back to base and keep him under their watchful eye. He’s sent me a few text messages but we haven’t had any time to talk alone.
I’ve learned from my debriefings that he’s moving back to the Chicago area where he’s originally from and will be fully discharged by early next week.
Until then, he’s on cleaning duty and has also been tasked with building a fence on the back of the base. They’re working him like a dog every second of the day as his punishment until his time in the military is over.
That’s why I’m completely surprised when I see him standing at my door.
“Alex…” I say breathlessly.
Our lips meet instantly when he wraps me in his arms, lifting me slightly. For a second, my arms fall limp to the side as I completely give myself to him. Before long, a surge of lightning runs through my body and I wrap my arms around his neck, bringing him closer.
I knew I missed him, I knew I had something for him but in this moment I know it’s love that I feel. There’s no more fear. No more questions. For the first time since he walked out of my house weeks ago I feel whole again.
His arms slip down my body, and effortlessly, he picks me up, walking straight to my room and placing me down on the bed before covering me with all of him.
Fingers travel down my arm until they’re entangled with mine. They grip me tightly before traveling up and placing one hand above my head. He reaches down for my other arm to do the same until both hands are secured up high.
Once I’m in a position he wants, he starts unbuttoning my pajama top, pulling it open and resting his soft lips directly over my nipple.
There’s no rush, there’s no harsh sucking, he’s taking his time. Fully living in the moment and cherishing my body like he never has before.
Sliding down, feeling every inch of bare skin, he removes the rest of my clothing before reaching over his head and pulling his own shirt off.
I don’t dare move from the position he’s put me in, I just stare, hoping to God this isn’t a dream.
