Chapter Three
Evangeline
Sleep issomething that eludes me. I blame it on the curse of being female. I wish I could shut my brain off like a switch but not tonight. One thought leads to the next, and before I know it, I’m wracking my brain, wondering how I got to my current thought only to end up backtracking to how I ended up where I did.
All when I should be sleeping.
Tonight is one of the worst nights because somehow I ended up thinking about him—Carter.
He keeps sneaking into my thoughts ever since the other day when Kaitlyn tagged me in that photo. It’s been ten years since I left my life and started over. I’ve been tempted so many times to search for him, but I’ve always fought the urge. Now that I know he’s out there, I feel like everything’s changed.
I haven’t even turned on Facebook for that reason. I’m terrified to go down that road, relive those memories, reveal those truths.
“Let’s get out of here.” I feel his breath against my skin as he whispers into my ear. His hands run down my arms, and he folds them around mine.
I look around the field of open tailgates and all of our friends hanging out, partying under the shine of the moonlight. Kaitlyn gives me a knowing smile before grabbing our friends, Tammy and Liz, to leave us alone.
Carter and I have been together for about a month, and even though he’s leaving for college in a few months, we’ve been getting closer and closer every day. We just get each other. I’m the crazy one who’s breaking him out of his shell, and he’s the calm one who keeps me in line; well, sometimes. We’re quickly learning that we complete one another and bring out the best traits in the other person.
While I may be the outgoing girl, who does and says whatever she likes when the crowd is around, with him I’m…different. I don’t feel like I have to be on at all times. Sometimes it’s nice to sit back and just exist.
We can hang out, just talking for hours. I listen to his stories, and by the end of the night, I’m curled up in his arms, right where I belong.
I like it. I like him.
Turning to give him my full attention, I ask, “What do you have in mind?”
“Me, you, on a blanket under the stars down by the lake.”
“Do you now?” I wrap my arms around his neck. “And you think I’m gonna follow you down there, just because you asked?”
“Will it help if I say please?” He raises his eyebrows as his lips show a hint of a smirk.
My head falls back in a laugh. “You’re too cute. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I do. So, what do you say?” He looks me right in my eyes as he lifts his hand to tuck a stray hair behind my ear. “I don’t want to if you don’t want to.”
“What if I say I want to?”
“Then I say let’s get out of here.” He leans down and meets his lips with mine as he picks me up and slowly walks me back to his truck.
This is it. We’re bringing this relationship to the next level, and when I look back at him, I have no doubt that I’m ready for this. For him. For us.
Fuck me!I rise out of bed and tug on the roots of my hair.
I can’t. I can’t do this to myself.
Not again.
Before I change my mind, I pick up my phone, click on the Facebook app, and delete my account. That part of me is dead. Who I was back then is long gone, and I can never go back.
I walk into the bathroom and splash cold water on my face, waking myself up from the dreams that plague me even when I’m wide awake.
Running my hands down my cheeks, I assess myself in the mirror. The blue eyes staring back at me are from that same girl who fell in love with a boy in the back of a pick-up truck. But the soul behind them is older, wiser…scarred.
I let out a long surge of air from deep within my lungs. I vowed never to lose another moment dwelling on the pain.
With a smile, I look at the new Angie reflecting back at me. The me of today.
