“Why, what?” I ask.
“Sorry, I was wondering . . . why can’t you leave now?”
I laugh softly, mentally lining up all my reasons before saying them.
“Well, let’s see. My dad has a broken leg and is going to need to start back at square one when it heals. And my sister has twins she’ll be raising on her own. She has zero time to work to support them, and she doesn’t have a college degree, so she’ll probably have to take shifts at Earl’s, which means someone has to watch the boys when she works. And my mom?—”
“Renleigh, I know your thoughts on your mom. But your parents are adults, and your dad is a lot stronger than you give him credit for. Besides, what if your mom stays this time? What if you stick around and it turns out all you’re doing is observation?”
“But what if she leaves, and he falls again, and?—”
“He won’t. I mean, sure, there are infinite possibilities for several things happening, but those are all outliers. And no offense, but you aren’t carrying everyone on your back. Your mom and dad are figuring it out without you. And your sister? She’s not going to want you stepping in and taking over. I don’t know her well, but I know enough about her to know she’s as independent as her sister. Just maybe less?—”
His words stop there and my hairs stand up on the back of my neck.
“She’s less what, Hunter?” I get to my feet so I can pace.
“Less scared, Renleigh. Your sister seems to be taking this shit head on, and she seems a little fearless about it, despite how scary it is. Maybe you should take a page out of her book? Take a chance.”
“On you? You want me to take a chance on you. Is that it?”
I hear myself, and I don’t like it, but my feet are dug in. What’s the difference between being here for my family or being in Dallas for Hunter?
“For you, Renleigh!” Hunter says. I don’t know if I’ve heard his tone so bold before.
I sit back on the edge of the bed.
“For the love of God, Renleigh. Don’t be scared of whatyouwant. I mean, damn—I would love for you to be here with me, for us to decorate my next apartment together. For it to beourapartment. We can get a cat, or a dog, or a fish. Orfuck!I’ll get you a damn lizard, or an imaginary friend.
“All I want in the world is for you to pick somethingyouwant. For you to do lifeyourway . . . for you. Not foranyoneelse. For you. And if that means you don’t live here with me, and instead you go back to Austin and finish school there, well then, I’d be pretty fucking sad here alone with our pet lizard, but I’d be happy.”
There’s a stark silence on the line, so I utter, “Why?”
Hunter chuckles, the tone noting his frustration.
“Because I meant what I said when I wrote that text earlier. I’m falling in love with you. Hell, fuck that. I’minlove with you. And when you love someone, nothing makes you happier than seeing them live their best life. Even if that means you can’t be in it all the time.”
Well, goddamn.
This time, we both let the silence take center stage for nearly a full minute. It doesn’t feel strange, and the need to feel it isn’t suffocating. We give each other time. No deadline. No rush.
“I’ll think about it,” I finally utter.
Hunter sucks in a sharp breath, then blows out heavily.
“That’s good enough. Yeah, that’s . . . that’s amazing, Renleigh. Thank you.”
I can picture him pacing in a beige apartment with generic Southwestern-style tiles and tan walls as he grabs at the back of his neck. It’s one of his cutest habits. The way his fingers fiddlewith the curls that tickle the back of his neck. I miss that and I just saw him to it this morning. I miss it already.
I miss him.
Chapter 25
Hunter
It’s the same ball.
Same dirt.
