But I wouldn’t trade this for what I had a year ago.
“The first days are tough,” Mr. Washington says, and the glimmer in his eye has me wondering just how lucid he is even at the best of times. The first daysaretough, but his relationship with Tilly’s mother also ended poorly. If I knewthat Tilly was going to leave me in a decade, I don’t know if I’d look back at these early days with a smile.
But Tilly’s not leaving me. She’s mine.
Fuck, this hurts.
“In a few months, he’ll be doing things on his own, and you’ll be doing your best just to keep up with him. But you’ll have a blast.”
“That’s what I’m hoping for.”
He looks around then, as though noticing that something’s missing. His eyes land on Denny, who’s charming the chess ladies, just like we planned. I need him here to record some stuff, but I needed this moment with Mr. Washington first. “Where’s my Tilly at?”
“She’s on a work trip. Just me and Donovan. And my friend over there. I was hoping I could get you to help me out with something. A surprise for Tilly.”
I leave with everything I wanted, and more. The receptionist gave me the number to a phone where I can send Mr. Washington pics and videos. The residents don’t have access to it, for safety reasons, but as long as I say who the message is to, they’ll pass it along when it’s a good time and even facilitate a conversation. I’m already sending pictures. I don’t know how long Tilly’s dad will be with us or how many good days he has left, so I want him to get as much of Donovan as he can in the time he does have.
Tilly’s gone for three days on her trip. There’s one mandatory practice that I can’t get out of without a hefty fine that I obviously can’t incur. Keira and Wren buddy up to babysit, but I hate leaving him for the better part of the day. It’s a good practice, though. My arm’s stronger than ever — I thank Donovan forthat too, even though he doesn’t have quite as much chunk as the other babies his age — and I’m getting better at running the ball. We have a scrimmage, and I’m actually able to dodge Allore once.
Which is great, because the faster I run, the less it appears that he remembers I’m red-shirted and he’s only supposed to grab my flag, not full-body tackle me.
At the end of practice, Maurice Bradley asks if I’ve got time to chat with him. I do want to get back to Donovan, but I know what this chat is. Management goes through agents for a lot of things, just like they’re supposed to, but they like to talk to the players personally, too, about how the upcoming season is going to go down. I’m signed on for the next two years, no concern there, but there’s a lot of flexibility in the minutia, and there’s a big round of finessing just before the preseason.
“You’ve had a lot going on in your life, I hear,” Bradley says by way of greeting because he’s the type of guy who likes to see absolute titans squirm in their seats.
I’m not Gabe. I’m not going to have a panic attack. I’m a grown-ass man. Grown-ass men have grown-ass ladies, and they have babies together. I’m just doing what everyone else is doing. “Yes, sir. Let me show you some pictures.”
Bradley waves me off. “I’ve held your boy, Blaise. Several times now. And now I’m gonna ask you to be honest with me and help me settle a bet I’ve got going with some of the other staff, because there’s been a lot of confusion on this front:ishe your boy?”
I haven’t made an official announcement about it. My social media girl, Stephanie, has hinted a couple times that she could throw one together if I just ask and offered to arrange a photoshoot — for any personal-related thing I might have, shesaid — but I kind of want to save it for a really good win, when the cameras are all over me and Jugs corporate doesn’t have quite the leash on me they usually do. I’m real jealous that Allore got to announce that he was going to be a dad after one of our games our first season, if I’m being honest. And then somehow that announcement alone was enough to knock Keira into labor, negating the C-section they’d already scheduled for the next day.
I’m never going to be able to do that, but I want to get as close as I can.
I lean across the desk and wink. “Let’s just say there’s going to be an announcement, and it’s gonna be big.”
Bradley pales slightly at that. I guess that might have sounded like a threat, but I’m not here to make him feel better.
He clears his throat. “Well, whatever the situation is, he seems to be having a great impact on how you’ve been on the field. I don’t think we’ve ever seen you so focused, and you’ve done a great job of taking back some of the responsibility Gabe’s had these last few years.”
“I mean, he likes doing that shit.”
Bradley rolls his eyes. I can’t count the number of times he’s uttered some form of ‘I see through your shit’ to me, but Gabe does like doing that stuff. That’s why I’m such a good quarterback for him. I let him do it. And now that he’s got his own baby, if he doesn’t want to be the contact point for the coach anymore, I’ve always been able to do it.
Probably.
I mean, yeah, it’s been dicey at times, but that was more on the coach than me. A lot of them just don’t get me. Coach Keenan gets how I work. We’re going to have a great season.
“So you know we’ve added some bonuses this year to get you moving. Your coaches are saying they think you’re goingto be hitting them, and that’s great. I want you to diversify your play. It’ll be good for you. Good for the team as a whole. But straight up? What I really care about here? Getting to the Super Bowl.”
I nod, but that’s a big fucking ask. I’ve never been to the Super Bowl. Most of us haven’t. Most NFL players never do.
“Now, you know your bonus structure already. You know how much you’re getting if you make it to the Super Bowl. But I’m going to sweeten it even further. On top of what you’re already getting, if you beat last year’s record? An extra million. And for every post-season game you get to, an extra million. You pull off a miracle, you get an extra five million. You think you can make that miracle happen?”
“Hell yeah!” Nope. Not at all. But I need every penny I can get, and I’ve never had this motivation.
“Great. Heard your girl’s out of town right now, is that right?”
“Yeah. She’s back to work. She’s a costumer. For action movies. So she’s gotta travel a lot. Hopefully not too much, but we’ll figure it out.” Am I babbling? Shit. The way his eyebrows lift as his frown deepens tells me I am and my words are digging a hole under me.
