“Eat more,” River says once I finish my plate. He’s holding the harmonica he had with him during the ball, but he hasn’t played in days.
“I’m not hungry.”
“You need to be strong so you can walk faster.”
“Eating more isn’t going to make my legs move faster. I’m walking as fast as I can.”
“Well, you don’t let me carry you.”
“Because I’m not a child.”
He crosses his arms and looks away. “It’s cold. You should wear one more shirt.”
“It’s not that cold.”
“You can’t get sick, Finn.”
“Oh, just shut up already! If you want to leave me behind, just do it! Go storm Denver and get yourself killed—much help it’s gonna do for Josh.”
He watches me in shock, and I realize the bluntness of my words. Before I can apologize, he stands up and walks away, disappearing between the trees.
I sigh and rub my face. “Dammit.”
“He’s lost and afraid,” Timothy says.
“It’s not great for me either.”
“You’re more in control of your emotions, and you don’t blame yourself for what happened.”
“How do you know I don’t blame myself?”
He uses a stick to poke the logs in the fire. “Because you are aware of your limitations and don’t believe you can fix everything.”
He’s right. I want to find Caden and Josh more than anything, but I acknowledge that bigger forces are at play here. “I should go talk to him.”
Timothy nods. “Yes, but you should also wear one more shirt like he suggested; the temperature is dropping fast.”
I grab another shirt that used to belong to a dead guard, then I go after River. There’s still some light left from the setting sun, and I find him sitting on a flat rock with his legs crossed. I sit next to him and say, “I didn’t mean to get angry at you.” He doesn’t respond, so I add, “You can get angry at me if you want.”
“I don’t. I only want to save Josh.”
“And Caden.”
“Yes, and Josh.” He sighs with his head bowed, threads of long, red hair covering parts of his face. “My heart is still beating, but it’s no longer whole.”
I hope to love someone someday as deeply as River loves Josh, yet it scares me to lose myself so profoundly in loving someone.
“I don’t know how to help,” I say. “We have to get more support, and I wish that I could get it right now, but I can’t. I’m scared that you’ll do something reckless that will leave me alone in this.”
“I won’t be reckless, and you will be fine without me if you have to. You’re a Finn after all.”
“What’s a Finn?”
“A highly intelligent and handsome creature.”
I smile and lean against him. “And what’s a River?”
“Hmm, a slightly more highly intelligent and handsome creature.”
