Josh and River float away into deeper water, kissing under the setting sun. I hate the pang of jealousy that’s shifting in my chest. I know firsthand the hell they went through for these precious moments of intimacy, but I can’t help but feel jealous since my relationship with Caden was short-lived and ended badly.
I swim back to shore and dry myself before getting dressed in warm clothes. With the wood Timothy collected, we work on starting a fire.
“What’s wrong?” he asks as the first sparks ignite. The rest are still swimming and splashing water, even Otto, who’s apparently not allergic to fun.
I want to say there’s nothing wrong, but it’s hard to fool Timothy. “I don’t like seeing what I can’t have.”
He glances at the lake, where River and Josh are still floating by themselves. “I see. And is it something you cannoteverhave?”
I sit down on the grass, warming my hands at the fire. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s not meant to be for me.”
He places one of his hands on my knee. “You wanted Caden here because you believed there’s a chance for you two.”
“That doesn’t make it true.”
“That also doesn’t make it not true.”
“Stop making sense.”
“I can’t help it. My father used to hate arguing with me.You better take that logic of yours somewhere else, Timmy!”
“You never mentioned your father to me.”
He looks away, and despite his limited ability to show emotions, I can sense his sadness. “I don’t like thinking of him and the rest of my family because they were never trulymine.I’m an echo of a dead man.”
My blood grows hot hearing him say that. “You are Professor Timothy Brown, the same way that that is River out there—not an echo.”
“Well, I’d argue that those are completely different situations. The original Timothy Brown does not share my DNA, so I’m anything but his identical clone.”
I sigh. “I can understand why your father didn’t like arguing with you. And you’re more human than anyone else I know.”
“Thank you, Finn. I appreciate your kind words.”
But that doesn’t mean he agrees with them.
Later, all of us eat by the campfire. I expect River to pull out his harmonica and play, but it’s Josh who does that. I can tellhe’s struggling to play with the cut on his lip, but he still sounds great, almost as good as River. Soon they’re playing together, each with his own harmonica. Trey asks to try as well, and it’s a musical disaster. Otto tries next, and he’s not as bad.
Caden sits on the other side of the dancing flames. When I tilt my head to watch him, he meets my gaze and holds it for a long time. As happy as I am to have him here, I still feel like a raw nerve in his presence, my emotions too close to the surface. If I learned anything from this journey so far, it’s how much I’m not truly over him.
I decide to go sit next to him, but before I can make a move, he stands up and grabs some things from one of the bags. I frown as he walks among the trees and out of sight. When he finally returns, he gestures for me to come. I get up and follow him, but he disappears between the trees again. I try not to stumble as I make my way through the darkness until I notice a faint source of light up ahead. When I come closer, I realize it’s one of the lamps Defenders use to cast light over a small space. It’s a great trick when you’re trying to stay away from prying eyes.
Caden stands with his arms crossed, a blanket spread on the low grass by his feet. “You’re easy to read,” he says.
“How so?”
“The way you were watching Josh and River.”
I look away, my face warming. “I’m happy for them.”
“And jealous.”
“I’m allowed to be.”
“Of course you’re allowed. Come here.”
“Why?”
“Come here, Finn.”
