“I remember a time when it was me apologizing for that. It’s fine, Joshy. I got your letters. I even had some of them memorized.” I might think of him as Josh in my head, but whenever I speak with him, I can’t help but call him Joshy.
“You memorized them?”
I recite to him one of his latest letters, and his eyes widen in surprise. I didn’t even realize I was memorizing them, but after reading each one dozens of times, the words got stuck in my head like a pleasant tune.
“Don’t sweat it about keeping in touch,” I say. “I know you prefer to be on the move.”
He looks away. “I’m not sure what I prefer.”
“Oh?”
He shakes his head. “Never mind.”
I stop the water. “We’ll talk about it in bed.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“I didn’t mean it as a question, Private.”
“Oh, you’re definitely not pulling rank on me.”
We get dressed before slipping into bed. It’s a small room, but the bed is big enough, even if the mattress is too soft. Without needing to speak, Josh turns with his back to me, assuming the familiar position we spent many nights sleeping in. I slide closer and wrap my arm around his chest, loving the familiarity of him and appreciating this moment.
“How’s Dino?” he asks me.
“Working hard. Keeping things moving. Breaking into people’s houses.”
“Huh?”
“Never mind.”
“I speak with him whenever we find a good radio transceiver. I ask to speak with you too, but you’re always away from the Hive.”
“Not always.” But a lot. Maybe too much. I turn off the light, casting us in darkness. “How are you, Joshy? No bullshit.”
He stalls before answering. “I’m happy.”
“Can you try sounding less sad saying that?”
“I’m not sad.” He takes a deep breath. “I love seeing the world and helping people, but after all this time, maybe I’ve seen enough.”
“You mean you want to settle down?”
“I don’t know. Something more permanent than today, at least.”
“You don’t think that River will agree to that?”
“He will if I ask.”
“But only because you asked.”
“Yes, and he’ll probably want us to stay in his village.”
“Don’t you like it there?”
“Every once in a while, but whenever his people need to use their real voice with me, I feel like they’re doing me a favor. I will never be one of them.”
I sigh, hating what I’m hearing. “Unity is still your home.”
