“Can’t think of one.” Yet I don’t delude myself that an ex-Raider could easily become a member of the Assembly. He’ll face rivals wherever he goes, and I can only pity those fools. “I’ll endup slowing him down,” I say, because it’s important for us to be honest about the reality we’re facing.
“Enough, Caden. Self-pity doesn’t look good on you.”
“And scales do?”
He shrugs. “I’ve seen worse.”
I lean back and sigh. “Maybe they’ll disappear eventually.”
“I don’t think they will.”
“Cool. Wanna kick my balls next?”
He holds my hand. “The general will come here soon to speak with you.”
My stomach clenches. “What should I expect?”
“He will thank you for your years of service, and then he will discharge you.”
I can’t say that I’m surprised, but that doesn’t take away from the pain and sense of betrayal. Not long ago, he said I would make a fine general someday. “I’ve given everything to them.”
“Once a Defender, always—”
“It doesn’t work like that. If you’re not wearing the blacks, you’re a civilian.” The word shouldn’t taste so bitter, but it does. I haven’t been a civilian since I was sixteen.
Dino tightens his hold on my hand. “Listen to me. You will not argue with the general, and you will not ask him to change his mind. That is beneath you. When you finish grieving over a dead dream, you will start working for me.”
“Dino—”
“I’m not offering charity, stubborn boy—you know me better than that. Will you listen to my offer?”
There’s nothing else I can think of doing other than being a Defender, but this man has been there for me since before I can remember. “I’m listening.”
*
The general comes to see me like Dino said he would. He can barely meet my eyes, his jaw tight with disgust. I owe him nothing, but I still save him the trouble by offering my resignation. He accepts it immediately.
Fuck him.
*
Josh and I watch as they dismantlethe last of the tents and pack them into trucks. It’s been four days since we won the war, and the wounded have slowly been transferred to the Hives and the Free Cities for better treatment. I was finally released this morning once the doctors confirmed my high white blood cell count doesn’t appear to be dangerous.
Dino left this morning, and although I’m used to not seeing him for long stretches of time, this goodbye was harder. I take comfort in knowing I’ll be speaking with him a lot more from now on. We have business together.
“You okay?” Josh asks.
“Still a bit dizzy, but it’s getting better. Are you over the shooting-me thing?”
“Don’t make fun of that.”
“So you can keep beating yourself up? Give it a rest, Joshy; I would’ve done the same.”
“Yeah?”
“Hell no. I’m a good person.”
He punches me hard. “Fuck you.”
