“Me? I… maybe. No. I can’t.” I tasted bile, the food gushing in my stomach.
“Do you feel weak, Jonah?”
“Yes. I’m weak. Shit.” I wiped my eyes.
“Don’t be harsh on yourself. Truth is never easy, but always liberating. As I said, if you can’t get rid of him, empower him. Nourish his ego.”
“I’ll try.”
“Good. May I give you a gift?”
I nodded suspiciously.
He walked to the side of the room and pressed a button next to the bed. “Look up.”
I raised my head to see the ceiling split open, revealing the night sky through a glass dome. I’d never seen so many stars in my life, blinking in the endless black. It had been months since I’d last seen the sky. It made me realize this place couldn’t possibly be close to a city, or the stars wouldn’t have shone so brightly.
“You’ll hurt your neck. Lie down.”
Still mesmerized, I made my way to the bed and lay facing the sky. The room around me disappeared as I floated in space. “It’s beautiful.”
Mr. White climbed onto the bed to lie next to me. “We should all look at the sky more often. It’s humbling.”
It felt cruel of him to say such a thing while I was locked in here.
“How does seeing this make you feel?” he asked.
“Sad.”
“Sad?”
“I’m beginning to believe I’ll never leave this place.”
“Never seems like an awfully long time. For now, take joy in the unusual path you’re paving.”
“Is that why you wanted to meet me?”
“I am a man guided by curiosity—to a fault, some might say.”
“Can you get me pills for anxiety?”
“What does your anxiety feel like?”
I wet my lips. It was easier to speak without looking at him. “Like I’m burning. Like there’s something inside me that wants to get out. It hurts in my bones. I can’t breathe, but I can’t pass out either.”
He remained silent for a few moments before saying, “I can help you, but not with pills.”
I tilted my head at him. “Then how?”
He reached for his shirt pocket and took out a small pin of the American flag. He moved to face me, resting on his elbow. “Controlled pain, Jonah, is a powerful cure and less risky than psychoactive drugs.”
“I have enough pain in my life.”
“I’m not talking about that kind of pain. Keep still now.”
I watched in shock as he brought the pin to my arm and stuck it into my flesh. “It hurts!”
“Focus on your breathing. Don’t look away.” He didn’t raise his voice, but he didn’t need to. As strong as the pain was, myfear of him was stronger. I bit my lips, moaning as he spun the tip inside my flesh. My sight filled with blinking lights, but I still saw the first drop of blood slide down my skin. An unexpected sense of relief washed over me.
