Of course he’d pick up on that.“Everything’s fine. Let’ssend her a photo of us—she loves that.” Chris held up his phone and took their selfie, the hot coffees creating a wispy haze effect at the bottom of the frame.
“You seemed extra happy at dinner,” Chris said and slid his phone into his pocket. From the corner of his eye, he tried to pay attention to any suspicious movement. It made no sense for Trevor to try anything out here in the open, but fear trumped logic.
“I am indeed weirdly happy these days, yes.” Ethan’s face darkened. “Then I remember we almost died on Fire Island, and I can’t help but think of how evil people can be.”
With everything that had been happening in Chris’s life, the mess on the island had almost been forgotten. But it made sense that Ethan wouldn’t take it so lightly.
“We survived a bad situation,” Chris said. “You’re allowed to be happy for pulling through.”
“Even if a man died?”
“A horrible man who hurt Anthony. Are you trying to feel remorse because you think that you should?”
“I don’t know. Is that what I’m doing?”
“I think so. Unless it has something to do with what you and I did.”
Ethan tensed, and Chris wished he would have kept his mouth shut about that. It had been a mistake to have Ethan stay while he acted like a slutty toy for Oscar.
“I do still think about it,” Ethan said quietly, almost in apology.
“It makes sense. You saw sides of me that made you uncomfortable, probably disgusted.”
Ethan sharply turned to look at him. “I told you then, and I’m telling you now, youdo notdisgust me.” He composed himself. “Itdid,however, make me realize there’s still a lot I don’t know about you. About the life you had before we met.”
Ever since that night at the cabin, where Chris unraveled himself and shone a light on his past, a giant question mark had been floating between them. In truth, Chris had been expecting Ethan to bring it up sooner.
“What if I tell you that my real life started when we met, and what had happened before that no longer exists?”
Ethan shook his head. “You know that’s not true.”
How could Chris explain how lost he’d felt after escaping the Mitchells? He had naively believed that starting college would fix things, but when he got there, it felt there was no one he could trust and get close to.
Until Ethan.
“You know me more than anyone, E. And the parts you don’t know, I want to keep that way.”
“Because you worry I won’t understand?”
Chris shook his head. “Because I worry you would.”
12
CHRIS
“I’m bored,” Dima said.
Chris looked up from his computer. “Jay should be here in a few hours to replace you. I can order you something to eat.”
“I’m not bored in my stomach. How’s your gun?”
“My gun? It’s fine.”
“Let’s go shoot.”
Chris glanced at his watch. “Now?”
“Yes, to practice. Unless you have a solution to the money problem.”
