Shaking, Roman went about picking up his strewn garments. “I need to think.”
“There’s no thinking required,” she said simply. Without emotion.
Roman’s heart blistered as he walked to the door. He stopped to look back at her. “Your father—” He blew out a breath and made a frustrated sound. “His behavior cannot go unanswered. You will hate me, Ellis, for what I want to do.”
“I suspect you want to call him out, and that if you do, you’ll likely kill him. I can’t stop you. I won’t stop you.” She took a breath, her voice lowering. “I hardly know him, and I’ve no affinity toward him. In fact, I found him rather repellent overall. Still, he is my father. And he’s Jo’s father. I cannot wish for his death. I beg you to reconsider.”
“I cannot. He’s despicable. He devastated the Laceys.” Roman couldn’t breathe. “He drove Clarissa to her death. When I learned of the affair, I demanded she end it. But she said her lover had already pushed her away. She was despondent, saying that she would never love anyone as she loved him and that she’d made a huge mistake in marrying me. She began taking laudanum. One night, she drank too much of it and didn’t wake the following morning. I will never know if she’d intended to die or not, but I’m not sure it matters since the result was the same.”
Ellis pressed her hand to her mouth and looked as if she might cry.
Roman wished he could hold her, but he needed time to determine what he would do.
He opened the door and turned away from her. “I’m sorry, Ellis.”
As he stepped over the threshold, he pulled the door closed. Just before it snapped shut, he swore he heard her say, “I love you.”
But he could not have. How could she love him now?
Chapter 17
Ellis barely slept after Roman left her room. She had dozed fitfully, then given up before the sun rose. It didn’t take long to pack her things, for she didn’t bother with the men’s wardrobe. She felt a little guilty leaving it behind, however, she wasn’t able to manage carrying everything on her own, and she wasn’t going to ask for help.
Then she’d taken on the painful task of writing her letter of resignation. That had taken far longer than packing her things and was perhaps the most difficult thing she’d ever done. Anguish tightened every muscle in her body as she left the letter on Roman’s desk in the study where they had come to know each other so well and where they had shared their first kiss.
Fighting back tears, she quietly departed just after the sun rose. She walked to Grosvenor Square as quickly as she could whilst carrying two valises. Where else could she go but Henlow House? She supposed she could have gone to Wellesbourne House. Pandora certainly would have welcomed her there.
But Ellis needed to go home. It was time.
Nervously, she knocked on the door at Henlow House. Percy, the butler, greeted her warmly.
“Good morning, Miss Dangerfield. It’s wonderful to see you.” He glanced at the lightening sky but said nothing about the shocking earliness of the hour. His gaze dipped to her valises. “Dare I hope you’ve come to stay, at least for a while?”
She nodded. “If I may, Percy. I doubt Lady Shefford is yet awake, but I don’t think she will object, nor will his lordship.”
“No one here would object, Miss Dangerfield. In fact, I imagine there will be unanimous delight.”
Emotion swelled in Ellis’s chest. These people wanted her, whereas her own blood, her mother, did not. Ellis would never be able to reconcile those things. She just had to accept that was the way it was.
“I’ll just go up to my old room, then,” she said.
Percy took her valises from her as she stepped inside and moved them to the corner of the entrance hall. “Jack will take these up for you, but not to your old room,” the butler said, referring to one of the footmen. “Lady Shefford made it clear to me that if you returned, you were to have Lady Minerva’s former suite.”
Ellis wasn’t sure how she felt about that. It was Min’s, not hers. It was also far larger than her room on the third floor.
Jo had expected her to come? How, when Ellis hadn’t even decided until late last night?
“Are you certain that’s what I should do?” Ellis asked. “It doesn’t seem right.”
“Everyone is in agreement, Miss Dangerfield, including Lady Minerva. It’s not as if she needs that chamber any longer.”
Ellis quashed a smile. “No, she does not.” Apparently, her sisters had been plotting behind her back. She didn’t mind one bit. It was, she decided, quite nice to have sisters.
“Would you like breakfast sent up?” Percy asked as Ellis removed her gloves.
“Not yet. I think I’ll rest for a while. Thank you, Percy. It’s absolutely lovely to see you.”
He inclined his head, and his eyes gleamed with warmth.
