“And you just believed him?” Jo sounded surprised and perhaps a bit stunned.
Ellis shrugged. “Despite his many indiscretions and mistakes, he’s always been kind and generous to me. When he welcomed me into the household, he promised he would always take care of me and ensure I had a home. I didn’t realize at the time that he was making it clear to everyone, particularly Her Grace, that I was safe and protected. I know now that he’s the only reason she didn’t toss me out.” She voiced another of her fears. “Since learning the truth, I’ve wondered if I would have been better off if she had.”
Jo stared at her. “How can you say that? Where would you have gone? What would you have done?”
“I could have gone to live with my adoptive mother’s cousins in Wales. They offered to take me in.” Ellis’s mother had corresponded with them regularly, and Ellis had continued to do so after her death, even now. The duke was kind enough to forward their letters since he knew where Ellis was living. She hadn’t told them anything about the duchess or Rowland Harker. “It would have been a very different life.”
“But would you have wanted that?” Jo asked.
Ellis lifted a shoulder. “How can I know?”
She did wonder if that life would have allowed her to marry and have a family of her own, something she never expected as Min’s companion and certainly couldn’t hope for now as the illegitimate daughter of a duchess. Unless she was able to keep it secret.
Except Ellis knew the truth, and it made her feel unworthy. All the years of the duchess’s harsh comments and snide remarks hadn’t beaten her down, but the revelation of the truth had succeeded where Her Grace hadn’t.
“I suppose we mustn’t discount things with which we have no experience,” Jo said. “I didn’t think I ever wanted to be a mother, and look at me now.” She smiled as she gently caressed the roundness of her belly.
Shockingly, Ellis felt a stab of envy. Why? She’d never wanted—or at least expected—to be a mother. Did she want that? She’d honestly never allowed herself to imagine it, and she wasn’t going to start now.
Setting those thoughts aside and hopefully never contemplating them again, Ellis fixed her full attention on Jo. “Tell me about our father. He still doesn’t know about me, does he?”
Jo shook her head. “I didn’t want him to know until you were ready. After the way you found out about your parents, I think you more than deserve to manage what happens next.”
“Nothing is going to happen with the duchess.” Ellis allowed her lip to curl, for she could not hide her loathing for the woman. “I do appreciate you thinking of me, but don’t you think our father deserves to know the truth?”
“I’m not sure, actually. I’m rather angry with him about the timing of it all. You know you’re only three months younger than me?”
Ellis drew in a sharp breath. She hadn’t realized that. “Our mothers were carrying at the same time? Was your mother aware?”
Jo pursed her lips as she nodded. “Yes, which is why I have never lived with my father. My mother turned him out. He didn’t particularly mind, for he’d decided—obviously—that monogamy was not for him.”
“He’s the worst sort of rogue,” Ellis said.
Jo smirked. “Yes. Perhaps if my mother had been presented a copy of the Rogue Rules before marrying my father, she might have reconsidered. I do love him, and I think you will too. He’s not like your mother. He’s amusing and charming, but also frivolous and hedonistic. He’s a wonderful writer and an even better painter, and he loves scientific experimentation. However, he’s also distractable, so he’s never worked at anything hard or long enough to make a name for himself.”
“I like to paint,” Ellis said. “Perhaps I inherited that from him.”
“He will be ecstatic,” Jo replied before adopting a serious expression. “I hope you aren’t expecting his financial support because he has little money. He had a small inheritance from a distant uncle that he mostly frittered away. Mama took from him what was left several years ago and invested it. She now gives him an allowance from the interest it earns and augments the payments with some of her own money, though he doesn’t know that. She still cares for him as someone she once loved and the father of her only child, but she’d deny it.”
Ellis hadn’t known what to expect from Rowland Harker, but it wasn’t financial support. She simply wanted a parent. “I suppose I would just like to know that I have a father and that he might care for me.”
Jo gave her an encouraging smile. “I think he will, though he really isn’t much of a father. He’s more like a friend with whom you’d like to walk in the park or meet at Gunter’s for ice cream. He’s great fun, but not remotely dependable. And he has ridiculous expectations. He was over the moon when I was betrothed to the heir to a duke.”
“He didn’t know the betrothal was fake in the beginning, did he?” Ellis asked.
“No, we didn’t trust him with the secret. Which is why we haven’t told him about you. He would have run straight to you and declared himself your father.”
Honestly, that might have been better than the way Ellis had actually found out—overhearing Min arguing with their mother. “So, I will be the one to tell him?”
“If you want. Or someone else can if that’s your preference. As I said, it should be up to you what happens next.”
Ellis wasn’t sure what she wanted. Not yet. “May I think about it?”
“Of course!” Jo assured her. “There’s certainly no hurry. Though, I do hope you’ll want to see Min sooner than later.”
“Does she know you’re seeing me today?” Ellis asked softly.
Jo shook her head. “I didn’t want her to be hurt. And I don’t say that to be cruel. It’s simply the truth. She misses you terribly and feels awful about what happened—how you overheard her.”
