It was more than that. She couldn’t stop thinking of the way he valued and respected her. Remarkably, he’d allowed her to retain her position after discovering she was a woman, and he’d continued to display an astonishing amount of concern—and trust—by allowing her to keep her secrets, even though that clearly frustrated him. At every turn, he’d been kind, understanding, and generous, such as involving her in Lacey and Company and insisting she participate in speaking with Mr. Inman.
There’d been a moment in the coach earlier when he’d demonstrated a clear desire to help her without even knowing why she might need that. He’d said he hated thinking she was afraid. The depth of care he’d revealed touched her deeply.
This deepening connection was not what she needed in her life right now. She’d been through great turmoil and wanted a new direction for the future. Keele was not part of that except for providing the financial foundation for whatever she chose to do next. The problem was that she didn’t know what that would be, especially since she truly couldn’t rely on staying in this position as long as she’d hoped. Every day she spent with Keele endangered her disguise.
He was waiting for her in the entrance hall again. Graham held the door for them as they departed the house and made their way silently to the coach. Keele climbed in first and took the forward-facing seat. Ellis sat opposite and watched him warily.
As soon as the door closed and she heard the coachman climb onto his seat, she spoke. “You must promise to stay on your side of the coach.”
“I will. My apologies for earlier.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s not as if I minded. But it isn’t wise, and we both know that.”
He exhaled, and there was no mistaking his disappointment. “Yes.” He brushed something from his thigh. He was also dressed in evening clothes, and Ellis was having difficulty not staring at him.
Keele cut an exceedingly handsome figure, and unlike her costume, his clothing was expertly tailored. The black wool somehow accentuated the breadth of his shoulders, and the cut revealed his trim waist, confirming what she’d already suspected—that he had no need of corsets or any other sort of body-shaping undergarment.
His dark hair was styled more severely this evening, with the waves of his hair more contained. Ellis preferred his slightly tousled look. It gave him an air of irreverence that she found appealing.
It was somewhat roguish, she realized. Apparently, she liked roguish. She was relatively certain she was going to fail at adhering to the Rogue Rules where Keele was concerned. And she didn’t think she cared.
She mentally chastised herself for thinking such thoughts, as they were not helpful. However, dwelling on her attraction to Keele kept her from being nervous about seeing Jo. Lady Josephine Halifax was not only Ellis’s half-sister and married to Min’s brother, she was, like Ellis, not from the same class as the others in their group.
In fact, Jo’s background was rather scandalous, largely due to her parents’ public separation. They were not divorced, but they had not lived together perhaps ever, and Jo’s mother had a long-time lover with whom she now resided. Jo’s father, on the other hand, had not settled down with any one person and possessed a roguish reputation. And, of course, he was also Ellis’s father, which meant her background was now scandalous too—if anyone ever learned she was Rowland Harker’s daughter. Never mind that she was the illegitimate daughter of a duchess as well.
Hopefully, no one would learn the truth about her parentage. Ellis didn’t want Harker to claim her, nor did she want anyone to know the Duchess of Henlow was her mother. The duke and duchess were even more famously separated than Jo’s parents, simply because of their rank. The marriage of the owner of a gaming hell and a cheerful scoundrel who sometimes worked as an artist or a writer was not as interesting to the gossips of the ton.
Ellis didn’t mind becoming acquainted with Harker, though. In fact, she would be pleased to have some kind of relationship since she didn’t have any parents. She glanced across the coach at Keele. He didn’t have parents either.
“Do you miss not having a mother or father?” she blurted without thinking and immediately wished she hadn’t.
“A mother, because I never knew one. I don’t miss having my father, but if I could choose another, I would.”
“Why was your father so awful?” she asked quietly. “You don’t have to answer.”
“I’m happy to share things about myself,” he replied. “Perhaps you’ll even do the same someday.” He winked at her, likely to ensure she knew he was teasing. Even so, she didn’t think his curiosity about her had vanished.
Keele met her gaze as he crossed his arms over his chest. “My father was, in a word, a blackguard. He gambled incessantly, drank spirits from the moment he woke until he fell unconscious, cheated vendors, treated his retainers poorly, and frequented the bawdiest of houses. In fact, sometimes he didn’t even go to houses. He found women—or men—on the street. I saw him once, with a young man. We’d attended the theatre when I was home from Oxford, and he left me in the coach whilst he stopped for some ‘air.’ I could see him receiving the young man’s attentions from the window.”
The former marquess seemed even more debauched than the Duke of Henlow, whose reputation with women was renowned. The duke, however, did not cheat anyone, nor did he treat his employees with anything other than kindness and appreciation, at least as far as Ellis had witnessed. “How old were you?”
“Fourteen, I think.”
“That must have been shocking.
He nodded. “I told him not to do that again when I was with him. He laughed, and I knew he would, so I simply never accompanied him anywhere ever again.”
“Not once?”
“No. And I was much happier for it.”
Now Ellis’s curiosity about him was beginning to match his about her. “You said you’d been a rogue before you inherited the title. Were you…like your father?”
“God, no.” He unfolded his arms and shifted on the seat, bringing his knees up. “I did gamble far more than I should have done, but I didn’t know our coffers were dwindling. I no longer wager, and not just because I can’t afford to. I’ve seen how it can ruin a person.” He pursed his lips for a moment, and she sensed he was lost in the memory of his father. She waited to see if he would continue and was glad when he did.
“I also frequented a particular bawdyhouse, but it was, I think, respectable. I certainly never caught any diseases, because I was quite consistent in wearing a French letter. After seeing the ravages of my father’s behavior—he died from his indiscretions—I knew better than to leave myself exposed.”
Ellis was fascinated to hear about his sexual experiences. In fact, she wanted to ask more about them but decided that was a bad idea.
