It’s Kayla who figures it out. She snaps her fingers and points at me. “He’s human inside the book.”
“Yep.” I nod. “No horns, no wings, no tail… and no extra dick.”
“Freaking hell. I’m so sorry.” Hannah pretends to wipe tears from her eyes. “It’s horrible the way there are no special dicks on humans.”
“Or aphrodisiac seed,” Naomi says, her expressive brown eyes huge and woebegone.
“Or knots.” Autumn clasps her hands over her heart and flops against the back of the couch as if mortally wounded. “It’s an effing travesty.”
Kayla and I share a look and burst out laughing.
“You guys!” I wheeze. “It wasn’t that bad!”
“‘Not bad’ isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement.” Hannah tsks and shakes her head. “Luke, letting the fae side down.”
Oh, god. It doesn’t matter how embarrassed I feel or how much his disinterest hurt—I’m not going to lie about him. “It was pretty great, actually.” I nibble on the edge of my pastry, remembering how hard he made me come when he stuck his thumb in my butt. I mumble, “Best ever, actually.”
Another round of whoops.
When they quiet down, Naomi says, “That doesn’t explain why you snuck out of his castle this morning.”
“Yeah, your text lacked a certain level of Skye upbeatness,” Autumn says, her tone switching from amused to concerned.
Kayla nods. “Even I noticed.”
My eyes drop, my fingers tightening on my coffee as I stare at the unbleached cardboard sleeve wrapping the cup like it’s the most fascinating thing on the planet. “Just because he rocked my world doesn’t mean I rocked his.” I swallow past the thickening in my throat. “When we got back to the real world, he acted like having sex with me was a science experiment or something! He started asking questions. He took fudgingnotes.” The last words emerge as a wail.
“Oh, honey.” Autumn wraps me in a hug from one side, while Hannah tackles me from the other.
“If he thinks that, he’s an idiot.” Kayla leans forward and pats my knee. “I don’t like many people, but I sure as shit like you. You’re one of the good ones.”
“I’m going to tell Luke he’s wrong!” Princess Buttercup leaps over to my lap. Her front paws land on my chest so she can headbutt under my chin. “I wouldn’t settle for anyone but the best to be my witch!”
A watery sound escapes me, half laugh, half sob. “Thanks, you guys.”
“You know, he’s just kind of… like that.” When we all stare at Naomi, she spreads her hands, palms up. “I’m not excusing what he did—no one should ever make you feel bad about yourself—but I’m saying I’ve seen him get really in his head when he’s working on a research topic. He put me through theringerwhen I was trying to learn to teleport,and he was even ruder with May while she figured out her telepathy.”
“So you’re saying he’s an asshole.” Kayla scowls.
“Yeah, he gets so focused on his work nothing else is important to him, especially not other people’s feelings.”
“That has to be it,” Hannah says.
Autumn’s eyes glitter with mischief. “And if it isn’t, I can always wish that he won’t be able to speak unless he has something nice to say.”
“That won’t help our research any, because he’d never be able to speak.” I brush off my cheeks with the back of my hand. “His usual mode is grumpy with a side of grumble all covered in scowly sauce.”
“Research, schmee-search. You’re taking today off to have fun.” When I open my mouth to protest, Hannah points at me. “I’m your boss, remember, and you’re supposed to be on vacation. I’m ordering you: nothing but fun.”
Which is how the others plan out my entire day, so that I spend it surrounded by friends and love.
We start by heading outside to the town green, where the walking tulips and rolling pumpkins are running around in the sunshine. Princess Buttercup chases the tulips and runs with the rolling pumpkins while the rest of us enjoy the beautiful day and the beds of crocus Severin entices into blooming early.
Kayla takes me for a pizza lunch at Slice of Life, where she tells me all the best dances to do with her Wii. We also pick out a few of the most absurd, just for the thrill of making Luke do them. The pixies make a big deal of Princess Buttercup, stroking her soft fur and feeding her a “meatpizza,” an unseasoned hamburger safe for animals.
Hannah drives me over to spend the afternoon with my aunts, since it’s their turn to host, and we putter around their cozy kitchen, which is the heart of my childhood home. They alternate between dishing all the dirt on everyone in town—they’re hooked into the little old lady gossip network—and fussing over me. I make my signature cupcakes for tonight’s Witch Bitch Spicy Book Club, with Aunt Irene hovering over me the entire time, while Aunt Betty suggests multiple ingredient substitutions for the fun of it, each more absurd than the last.
Then I go to Autumn and Rune’s house for a dinner of cheddar-topped shepherd’s pie. Babybelle and Princess Buttercup try to outdo each other in a demand for attention, each carrying on and yelling that they’re the most adorable familiar until they wear themselves out and fall asleep on the rug in front of the fire, leaving us to eat dinner in blissful peace.
