Heart racing, I took in gasping breaths to calm my senses.
“I can hear you, Nox. I want to help. Please,” Devora said from the other side of my door. She sounded small and worried, so unlike the fierce woman I’d come to know.
But sheshouldn’thave been able to hear me. Long ago, I’d had Silas ward my private chambers so that no sound could escape. I said it was to protect against potential spies, but I always wondered if the wise Alchemist knew the truth.
I didn’t want anyone to hear me scream when the nightmares came.
Butsheheard me. Her shadow whispering was getting stronger, if it was able to penetrate Silas’s wards.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
I couldn’t stop myself from throwing my legs over the side of the bed, then I slowly pulled myself up and staggered to the door. I propped my hand on the frame, my fingers gripping it hard enough to leave a dent in the wood.
“Nox?” she whispered again. So close, I could smell her just on the other side.
My forehead fell to the door as I squeezed my eyes shut. Mydragon half reached forward, clawing at my chest, aching to break through the wood.
It would be so easy to give in. To open this door and fall to my knees, to let her hands cradle my head and drive the nightmares away. That was what terrified me most—that this woman could give me comfort of any kind. Because the last person who had brought me peace…
She was front and center in my nightmares. She wasdeadbecause of me. And I’d rather let myself rot alone than bring Devora that same fate.
I turned and slumped to the ground, clutching my head in my hands until her footsteps retreated and the darkness crept in once more.
“Noxy, look what I did!”
I turned toward the sweet voice as a little body barreled into me. I caught her with a laugh and lifted her in the air, black braids swinging against my face.
“What’d you do, Zeph?” I asked the girl.
She beamed and wiggled in my grasp, then pointed a hand to her back. Small white wings with black feathers on the end protruded from slits in her shirt.
“And it didn’t even hurt this time!” she exclaimed with her gap-toothed grin.
My heart clenched. “That’s amazing, Zeph. It’s only going to get easier, I promise.” I set her down on the floor of the library with the other six, seven, and eight-year-olds.
Kieran had devised a system to divide the refugees into age groups for afternoon activities. It made it easier to keep an eye on all of them. Everett had even formed a sort of classroom schedule. As our numbers grew, so had the people willing to help get the refugees into a semi-normal routine. It aided their recovery to have something as mundane as schoolwork or training or playtimeto latch on to.
I tried to visit with them as much as I could. It kept me focused on the ultimate goal. Watching the children make crafts or wrestle in the training grounds, learning to laugh again after all the joy had been sucked from them down in Scarven’s dungeons…it filled me. Made it all seem worth it. All the heartache, the restless nights, the lost friends.
We werebuildingsomething here. We were making a difference.
Zephrya nodded up at me and went back to her painting on the floor. She was one of our most recent rescues. Scarven had done something to her magic to make her shift prematurely—she was only seven. Usually, a Shifter’s magic didn’t emerge until much later. She’d been in incredible pain every time her emotions were heightened and she couldn’t control the shift, sprouting her hawk’s wings or talons and breaking several bones in the process.
She was one indozensof stories. Innocent people whose bodies were violated and mutilated, their magic made to be a source of strife instead of the beautiful gift it was meant to be. I wanted to bring that beauty back. To make them feel at home in their own skin.
“Asher, how’s your striding?” I called out to the nearby teenage boy who was overseeing a group of ten-year-olds.
He looked up, his mop of rust hair flopping over his face as he winked at me, then disappeared.
“You tell me, Boss,” he said from right behind me.
I grinned and clapped him on the shoulder. “Looking good, kid. But I hear you’ve been causing some trouble in the girls' wing?” I raised an eyebrow.
Pink blossomed on his cheeks. He glanced over his shoulder at his friend across the room. “Seriously, Micah?” he yelled.
“Hey, don’t blame him. Just remember the rules, yes?” I let go of his shoulder. “Keep the striding to public spaces. We don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.”
He gave me a quick nod. “Yes, sir.”
