“He killed his own father,” I said under my breath. My shoulders deflated. The turmoil of Nox’s past went deeper than I could’ve imagined.
Ifinallyhad all the missing pieces. Ifinallyunderstood Nox’s role, his unbreakable ties to this man who ruined his life. How Nox knew so much about Scarven and the way his mind worked. Why he’d dedicated his life to the Ashen Order and rescuing those who couldn’t help themselves.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked softly.
“That my brother is a savage, ruthless murderer? Yes, I wonder why I failed to mention that part.”
“That doesn’t matter to me,” I said. “You can’t choose your family. None of that is your fault.”
He said nothing, rubbing the back of his neck as he glanced toward the tent. The muscles in his shoulder flexed with the movement.
A strong gust of wind blew through the flap, and I shivered so hard, my teeth chattered. His gaze landed on the discarded cloak with a furrowed brow. He reached for it slowly, then crossed the space to wrap it around my shoulders.
I put a hand up. “Wait, I thought you said I couldn’t wear it?”
He swallowed. “But you’re cold.”
My traitorous, ridiculous heart actuallystuttered. “Nox, I?—”
“I overreacted. One more time won’t kill you. We’ll figure out a way to hide it so he doesn’t know.” He clasped the cloak at my neck, then planted his hands on my shoulders. “Hecan’tknow, Devora. Do you understand? Hecannotfind out you’re—” He paused and licked his lips, eyes scanning mine. “That we’re working together. He’ll stop at nothing to hurt you if he even suspects you know me.”
I nodded. There was something more there, something lingering in the back of his stare, but I didn’t want to press. Not now.
“I understand,” I murmured.
He backed away. “I’m sorry I scared you.”
“I’m not scared.”
His eyes flicked to my mouth, then up again. “You should be.”
“Areyou?” I breathed out.
He tilted his head, the fading firelight from the candle in the corner catching his eyes. “Devora, darling, I’m always scared.”
A moment passed, the air so thick, it made it hard to breathe. I knew I should go back to my tent. But I was so desperate formore, to fill in the cracks of this man before me, to answer all the burning questions I had.
“Nox,” I started, “what were you dream?—”
“Good night,” he said. Not angrily, not viciously. Simply resigned. His shoulders sagged, his features tired and haggard.
I nodded again, equally exhausted and exhilarated by what had just happened. I made my way to the tent opening and stepped into the frigid air. “Good night, Nox.”
29
Devora
“Are you sure you’re ready for this, Devora?” Tessa asked. Her legs were casually draped over the arm of a chair by my vanity, but there was a crease on her brow that gave away her concern.
“I wish everyone would stop asking me that,” I said. I leaned closer to the mirror to swipe a line of kohl beneath my eyes.
Nox, Arowyn, Everett, and I had gotten back from Tenebra less than forty-eight hours ago. Since then, I’d been surrounded by members of the Ashen Order as they tried to talk me through the plan at the ball, how to hide my magic, and what to do if anyone became suspicious. They were all a bunch of mother hens.
Everyone except Nox, that was. I’d barely seen him since we arrived at the Keep and he stopped me from going up the stairs to my tower. Instead, he showed me to an empty room on the first floor. Evidently right down the hall from his, or so Tessa told me.
We’d been so busy, I didn’t have much time to worry about where he’d run off to, or even to enjoy the new luxuries of this suite. The bed alone could fit four people, and the bathing chamber wasglorious. The tub was practically a lake. If this was the room he gave me, I couldn’t imagine whathischambers looked like.
Not that I thought about him. Or his bed. Or himinhis bed.
