“But she’s in pain,” Nox said, voice surprisingly urgent.
“Magic is tied to emotions, boy,” Calyra said. “Can you imagine going two decades without yours? She’sdrowningin them.”
It didn’t feel like I was drowning. It felt like I wasexploding. Like a dam had crumbled as I choked back another sob. It was writhing inside me, all the self-loathing, the bitterness, the anger, the loneliness. The years I spent merely surviving, finding my purpose in the wrong people.
This is what you deserve.
Voices whispered in my mind, the same kind I heard in the shadow circle earlier with Thecae. They brushed against the raw wounds, making me double over as if I’d been struck.
Small tendrils latched on to those emotions andtugged. They ripped them into the open and twisted around them, growing, building, pushing?—
I felt Nox move away from me, and without thinking, my arm lashed out and gripped his hand.
I glared at him. “Don’t”—I huffed out a breath through gritted teeth—“leave me.”
Don’t leave me on these shores.
Don’t leave me in this tower.
Don’t leave me behind.
Don’t leave me.
Don’t—
His other hand clenched my arm. “I’m not going anywhere, Devora.”
Something solid slammed into me. I let out a gasp as thegates opened and power flooded me.
Shadows tore out of our joined hands, rolling down my body and surging at my feet, sucking the world into its black tide. Nox was still on his knees in the dirt before me, but I could barely see the bottom half of our bodies through the darkness. Wind whipped at our hair and cloaks. Shadows pulsed in the air. They brushed against my skin while familiar voices drifted through my subconscious like music.
I stared at Nox, whose wide eyes matched my own, and for a moment, time stopped.
In my next breath, the shadows snapped back into my skin like someone had released a bowstring, and my muscles gave out. I slumped forward, falling from the log and into solid arms.
Everything went black.
22
Devora
“You awake, honey?”
Wrinkled hands squeezed my arm, and my eyes fluttered open. I blinked against the bright sunlight coming in from the window, sluggishly lifting an arm to block my face. I was in a small bedroom with gray walls and a single window, with a closed door on the opposite side. The bed I lay in was just wide enough to fit me.
To my left sat Calyra, her silver eyes meeting mine with a smile. “That one knocked you right out. You’ve been asleep all night.”
“What happened?” I asked, voice groggy. I tried to sort through my memories of the last few days. “Where am I?”
“The training grounds. Nox brought you back here after you passed out at the Noctus Vigil last night. Your shadows drained you, that’s all. You went through a lot in a short period of time.” She patted my arm. “You’ll be fine, girl.”
I furrowed my brow. “My shadows?” Had I truly conjured them? That was real?
She grinned. “Yes, honey.Yourshadows. My son tells me they’ve been quite stubborn, but all they needed was a little push.” Her eyes flicked to my hand, and I looked down.
Small wisps of smoke curled around my middle finger andthumb, barely hovering over the skin. So soft I couldn’t even feel them. When I sucked in a breath, they seemed to notice I was watching. The end of one of the tendrils perked into the air before the entire thing melted back into my skin.
“No—wait—” I reached out my hand as if I could chase them, but they were gone. I leaned further into my pillow with a sigh.
