“I told them I was from Mysthelm. They let me go when they thought I was part of the ship’s crew.”
Tessa chuckled. “Gotta admit, that’s quick thinking.”
Arowyn kicked off from the wall. “Great, so we know what Scarven’s been buying, all because someone here finally had the nerve.” She smirked at Devora. “I like this one.”
“Why am I not surprised?” I rumbled.
“You should use her, Nox,” Arowyn said. “She knows what she’s doing. And once she gets a hold of her shadow magic, she could be exactly what we need.”
“You don’t have to talk as if I’m not right here,” Devora said, quirking an eyebrow.
Two days ago, I would’ve shut Arowyn down and written off the entire exchange as ridiculous. I couldn’t have someone on my team I didn’t trust.
But tonight was our first breakthrough in months. A true step forward in figuring out how to beat Scarven at his own game.
Because of this Shadow Wielder.
An idea took shape in my mind. Slowly, carefully, the fringes of a new plan brushed against my doubts. A risky plan. A dangerous plan.
I didn’t have to trust her. I didn’t even have tolikeher. But I knew how desperate she was to prove herself, to discover more about her roots and her magic. It was what drove her to betray Clarissa in the first place.
I could use that desire.
The room seemed to hold its breath. “You want answers, Shadow Wielder?” I lowered my voice as my gaze raked up her form. “You’ll have to earn them.”
She squared her shoulders, rising up to her full height without breaking my stare. “On one condition,” she said, and I cocked my head.
“I want my dagger back.”
14
Devora
Ididn’t hear from Nox for two days.
I was restless. And irritated. It was beyond frustrating to be in the thick of the action, only to be shoved back in my tower without another word. What did Nox mean when he said I had to earn my answers? What was he planning?
Iwantedto help. And it wasn’t only because of what he could offer me. This entire operation, the mysterious fatesprig, this Scarven person, Nox’s safehouse for his victims…I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was somethingmorehere. Something important. Something Nox’s people thought was worth fighting for.
I never had that before.
Thank the Fates for Arowyn, my new (figurative) best friend. If she hadn’t vouched for me, he probably wouldn’t have given me another thought.
The two days after the midnight mission were worse than all three months combined. I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin with impatience. I was still allowed to leave my room, but every time I ventured down to their secret meeting space, someone was guarding it.
I kept my promise to Milo, at least. Poor kid looked like he was going to piss his pants when Nox found out he’d let me leave. Icouldn’t help but feel a little bad. I left him a note in the greenhouse the day after, telling him to meet Rebekah in my room that evening when she delivered my dinner.
The excitement on Rebekah’s face when I told her he was going to come see her…I couldn’t help but smile. They were so sweet. Aglow with that fresh young love that made butterflies erupt in your stomach and your cheeks hurt from grinning.
But it also pinched something inside of me. An old mark with so many scabs sewn across it that I thought nothing would ever get through.
I wasn’t used to that kind of innocent affection. Where I came from, people were commodities to beused, not cherished. When I was starving or needed a roof over my head, I found the nearest bar with wealthy men seeking a distraction. For a little bit of attention, I could get a free meal or a warm bed. It was all about what you had to offer, how you could be useful to someone else.
That was how Lady Reaux had dragged me into her schemes. What I could do for her, and what she could do for me. It wasn’t compassion. It wasn’t anything akin tolove. Miss Leigh from the orphanage was one of the only people to care about me simply because of who I was. An unconditional love not born out of necessity, but choice. Not survival, but sincerity.
The empress could’ve been that person for me. Clarissa was kind and genuine, with a loyalty that reminded me of Nox. I saw the way they both loved those around them, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t yearn for it.
But I’d ruined any chance for either of those relationships.
