Devora poured four cups of hot water from one of the kettles, then dropped tea bags into each of them while I found an extra loaf of bread.
“So,” I started, grabbing a knife and slicing through the center, “I assume you two didn’t come all this way because you missed my beautiful face?”
“Not exactly.” Rissa shifted on her stool. I figured their visit had something to do with the battle over three weeks ago. Rose, Leo, and Chaz had gone back to the capital a couple of days later, and Rissa and I had exchanged some letters since then, but we hadn’t had a chance to talk in person about what transpired.
“You know we destroyed all the fatesprig and the weapons,” I assured her as I walked to the pantry and took a wedge of boar’s cheese. “I sent a team to put out the fires and check all the underground areas. Everything is gone. You don’t have anything to worry about.”
“I believe you. But what about that Alchemist?” Rissa asked.
“Mortep?” I scowled. I cut a slice of cheese a little too hard, and the tip of the blade got stuck in the table beneath. “No sign of him. But we’re looking.”
When he wasn’t with the children, Everett had made it his life’s mission to track down the mad Alchemist. It was also one of the only topics of conversation that made Vera come out of her shell. Their vendetta against the man who had created such twisted experiments lit the bloodlust in her, and while it was understandable, I was worried for my sister. For the rage and vengeance I saw consuming her.
“Good. That’s good.” Rissa twisted her fingers together. “Well, it’s not good that you haven’t found him. But it’s good someone is looking. I have a sect of my guard searching too. We’ve put out a warning to all the governors to be on the lookout in their provinces.”
I laid slices of cheese on the open-faced bread and sprinkled it with the rosemary that hung by the window. As I set it on the hearthstone over one of the fireplaces, the scent of Rissa’s nerves mixed with somethingelsereached my senses.
Hmm.That was new.
She cleared her throat. “Speaking of governors…”
I blinked, slowly turning to stare at her as all other thoughts left me. I should’ve seen this coming. I should’veknownshe’d come here for this.
Her shoulders slumped as she sighed. “Listen, Nox. I know this isn’t your favorite subject, but Drakorum needs?—”
“I never asked to be its governor,” I interrupted. “It doesn’t matter if it’s my birthright. That may have worked well for you, but not all of us were meant to follow in our father’s footsteps.”
“I couldn’t care less about your birthright.” She was using her no-nonsense empress voice now, the one that could convince a fish to walk on land. “You’re the kind of man this province needs,notbecause of who your father was, but because of whoyouare. No—don’t scoff at me. Name one person who cares about these people more than you. Name one person who would sacrifice more than you to make sure they’re safe, provided for, andheard.”
Devora slipped up behind me to rub a steadying hand along my back. “She has a point, Nox,” she said. “You’re an incredible leader. We would follow you anywhere, you know that. But only if it’s whatyouwant.”
I licked my lips, a myriad of emotions brewing inside of me. Denial, resistance, doubt. There was a sudden drop in the pit of my stomach, bringing with it the urge to step back.
Who was I to lead these people? Rissa and Devora looked at mewith admiration, but they didn’t see all the things I’d done. The ways I’d hurt people at Scarven’s command.
But with that fear came another thought.If I walk away, who takes my place? Who keeps them safe?
I had already felt the weight of this province’s fate on my shoulders for years. It had never been a burden, but a responsibility. One I thought would end when I got rid of Scarven.
Perhaps that kind of duty never truly ended. These people would always be sewn into the fabric of my heart, the foundation that kept me strong.
My eyes fell to the table. “I never wanted power.”
Rissa’s words made me look up. “I know, Nox. I think that’s what makes you perfect for it.”
I would be lying if I said I’d never imagined myself taking up my father’s legacy. I just never felt worthy of it. Of walking in the great Caius Duma’s footsteps. But even he made mistakes.Hugeones. I always wondered if Scarven would have turned out differently if my father had taken responsibility for his actions all those years ago.
“You’re not the sum of your past,” Devora said quietly, standing on her tiptoes to brush her lips against my jaw. They were the same words I said to her once upon a time. I turned to catch her forehead, planting a kiss there before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
The way she looked at me made me believe it. Even after how I treated her in the beginning, after all she’d learned about me, after seeing my good and bad and everything in between…she looked at me like she saw through it all.
I stayed quiet as I took the tray of bread from the hearthstone, breathing in the melted cheese and fresh herbs. I set it on the table and eyed the empress.
“There are going to be some changes around here,” I warned.
Rissa’s lips curved into a grin. “Does that mean you’ll do it?”
“On one condition.” I took the cutting knife and held itblade-up between us. She reached for it, but I kept it in my grip as I stared her down. “You name your baby after me.”
