“I don’t owe youanything.”
Her jaw shifted. “What if I wanted to help? In exchange for finding out about my past?”
I shook my head and chuckled darkly. “Of course, it’s about whatyouneed.” That crease at her brow deepened, and I shrugged off the momentary guilt the look brought. “You’ve seen enough. We’re going back to your room.”
Her mouth fell open. “You’reunbelievable.”
I smirked. “You’re not the first to say that, darling.”
“You can’t just order me back to my room like I’m somechild. I’ve done nothing wrong. I have every right to?—”
“Alright, we’ll do this the hard way.” I caught her around the waist, ignoring her thrashing fists, and hauled her over my shoulder before she could wriggle free.
She pounded her fists against my back, her voice sharp and furious. “Nox! What are you doing? Let me go!”
“So you can spy on me some more?” I started up the stairs, my grip tightening and molding to her curves. “Not a chance.”
“You aren’t seriously going to carry me up all those steps,” she shot back.
“Watch me.”
She struggled and kicked for another minute as I reached the next floor. I grasped the backs ofher legs tighter, my fingers digging into her skin, and she inhaled sharply before letting out an annoyed huff.
She went silent until we were about halfway up to her tower, when she asked, “What was Scarven doing to them?” Her voice was small, timid. “To the children.”
My shoulders tensed. “Whatever you’re imagining…it’s worse.” Images of needles and blood, fire and darkness, chains and stone walls flashed through my mind.
When we reached her room, I flung open the door and dropped her onto her bed. The edge of her nightgown rode up her thighs, and I bit down on the inside of my cheek as I dragged my eyes up to meet her stare. Her cheeks were pink from all the blood rushing to her head, her hair wild and windswept around her shoulders.
She glared at me. “I still hate you, you know.”
“Good.” I strode back to the door, then turned to peer at her once more. “If I ever catch you spying on us again, I’ll have the wards back up before you can say ‘traitor.’”
She let out a heavy breath. “Fates, how many times do I have to apologize? Will you ever forgive me?”
My hand gripped the edge of the door. Instead of snapping back, I took a deep breath. “You betrayed my empress, Devora. Myfriend. Shifters aren’t forgiving creatures. Especially when you hurt one of our own.”
I faced her again. “I know nothing about you except that you’re an orphan chasing answers. And I don’t fault you for that. But you’ve proven you’ll do anything to get what you want. You’ll turn your back on anyone. Call itprotection, call it the lesser evil, but betrayal is still betrayal.”
She opened her mouth to reply, but I kept going. “You say you want to help, and I believe you. But I can’ttrustyou. Not yet. I can’t trust that you won’t betray us if someone comes along to offer you a better deal. I can’t trust that you’ll make the decision to sacrifice your own desires for the greater good.”
She looked down at those words, her hand curling into a ball ather side. I’d hit a mark, but it didn’t feel as good as I thought it would.
I pointed down, seeing through floors and hallways to the drawings that still hung in my mind. “My people risk everything to fight Scarven. To save the broken children you just saw. No matter how sorry you are, I won’t gamble their lives on your loyalty.”
My anger from earlier shifted into something less biting, but still deep. I didn’t want to hate her. I didn’t want to keep her locked up. But loyalty was the most important thing in what I did. The Ashen Order, the Keep, my family…they were the only things that mattered. And until someoneearnedthat loyalty, they couldn’t be my ally. They couldn’t be myanything.
I supposed she’d been right all along. Shewasmy prisoner. Because I would never give her the power to hurt what was mine.
“So hate me all you want, darling,” I said, fingers digging into the doorframe. “It won’t change a thing.”
8
Nox
“Dance with me, Nox,” Sage said, those dark eyes sparkling with mischief.
My lips curved into a smile. “With no music?”
